5/10
American intervention in Slovetzia
16 December 2004
I think someone found the right word to describe this film earlier: inoffensive. Even Eastern European dictators might find it hard to find much to complain about. Indeed, so lame is this film I was amazed to learn it was intended for a cinema release, although in my part of Slovetzia it seems to have gone straight to video.

Actually, this is a pretty harmless way of spending an hour and a bit if you can accept that this is basically a vehicle for Fran Dreschler, and that, presumably, she has some fans in America who both like her and know who she is.

Dreschler plays a beautician who gets mistaken for the new tutor of an eastern European dictator and ends up importing consumerism and the American way of life by stealth to the previously contented communist kingdom of Slovetzia. I say "communist kingdom" because on the strength of this film some Americans don't seem to know the difference between the two. For those of you unfamiliar with Slovetzia, when Errol Flynn was alive it used to be called Ruritania, but later changed its name under communism. These days it is populated entirely by British actors, some of whom attempt mildly Russian accents.

You may be as surprised as I was to learn that the tyrannical ruler of Slovetzia is none other than Timothy Dalton. You may remember him from the 1980s when he used to be James Bond. At one point he was even well regarded as a serious Shakespearian actor. What happened to him after leaving the secret service, you might ask? Well, I don't really know, but it can't have been pretty. Somehow he ended up playing second fiddle to Fran Dreschler. I know, a sad end for a man who saved the world at least twice.
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