Like just about everyone who got this flick, I found it in the Wal-Mart bargain bin, stuck near the bottom with to several copies Howard the Duck. I'm a sucker for a cheap bad movie, so I got it on a whim. I was expecting cheese, I got some really smelly Limburger.
Opening with the two low rent Rennisance Festival Fugitive Elves (with lots of shots of their sneakers cleverly disguised in gunny sacks) running through the forest. Ugly Axe Guy is in pursuit, and throws a long handled battle axe into the back of the RFFE carrying a scroll. RFFE number two picks up the scroll and runs once again. Ugly Axe Guy decides to deal with Number Two with his flail, throwing it with the grace and technical skill of a William Shatner fight scene.
Shatner naturally comes to mind when I see this movie. When Ugly Axe Guy pulls his axe out of the back of the dead Elf, We see that the highly abused elves in this scene happen to have GREEN BLOOD. So, does that mean we're on Vulcan? Elf Number Two is now crawling, apparently he couldn't get his leg untangled from the flail that is loosely wrapped about his foot. He shambles to a conveniently placed door (in the middle of an otherwise uninhabited forest according to the numerous tracking shots in the opening) quickly, Elf Number Two tosses the scroll through the door as Evil Axe Guy brings his might axe down and mercifully leaves the movie for the next 45 minutes.
Then we see the scroll "magically" appearing in a flurry of cheap digital sparkles at the feet of an old gardener who looks sorta like old Obi Wan Kenobi. He picks up the scroll and starts reading, and a young girl's voice-over tells about the ongoing struggle with the UnSeelies in the BlueBell forest and how things look bleak and grim at the moment and how it would be a good time to bring that savior here and all. All the while the scene is cut with pointless closeups of a mouse and a hawk. You expect the hawk is going to swoop down and eat the mouse, and seeing how the mouse starts talking and won't shut up later in the movie, I so desperately wished that was the case. The voice over ends with "Help us, you're our only hope" at which point Sorta Kenobi looks up to the sky and we fade out.
Then things quit making sense....
Seeing how the past few paragraphs represent the first five minutes of this flick, I can tell you it just goes downhill from this point. From the introduction of the villain Dagda (he looks sorta like Tim Curry as Darkness from "Legend" but acts like Tim Curry as Frankenfurter from "Rocky Horror Picture Show") to the big showdown between good and evil (evil being armed with foam rubber hammers) this movie is nothing but a slow, agonizing, descent into cinematic masochism. If it wasn't for the presence of multiple friends to help riff on this movie, there is no way I could sit through it. After showing this, I've had friends refuse to never again let me pick movies for us to watch. This movie is pain, watch it at your discretion.
Opening with the two low rent Rennisance Festival Fugitive Elves (with lots of shots of their sneakers cleverly disguised in gunny sacks) running through the forest. Ugly Axe Guy is in pursuit, and throws a long handled battle axe into the back of the RFFE carrying a scroll. RFFE number two picks up the scroll and runs once again. Ugly Axe Guy decides to deal with Number Two with his flail, throwing it with the grace and technical skill of a William Shatner fight scene.
Shatner naturally comes to mind when I see this movie. When Ugly Axe Guy pulls his axe out of the back of the dead Elf, We see that the highly abused elves in this scene happen to have GREEN BLOOD. So, does that mean we're on Vulcan? Elf Number Two is now crawling, apparently he couldn't get his leg untangled from the flail that is loosely wrapped about his foot. He shambles to a conveniently placed door (in the middle of an otherwise uninhabited forest according to the numerous tracking shots in the opening) quickly, Elf Number Two tosses the scroll through the door as Evil Axe Guy brings his might axe down and mercifully leaves the movie for the next 45 minutes.
Then we see the scroll "magically" appearing in a flurry of cheap digital sparkles at the feet of an old gardener who looks sorta like old Obi Wan Kenobi. He picks up the scroll and starts reading, and a young girl's voice-over tells about the ongoing struggle with the UnSeelies in the BlueBell forest and how things look bleak and grim at the moment and how it would be a good time to bring that savior here and all. All the while the scene is cut with pointless closeups of a mouse and a hawk. You expect the hawk is going to swoop down and eat the mouse, and seeing how the mouse starts talking and won't shut up later in the movie, I so desperately wished that was the case. The voice over ends with "Help us, you're our only hope" at which point Sorta Kenobi looks up to the sky and we fade out.
Then things quit making sense....
Seeing how the past few paragraphs represent the first five minutes of this flick, I can tell you it just goes downhill from this point. From the introduction of the villain Dagda (he looks sorta like Tim Curry as Darkness from "Legend" but acts like Tim Curry as Frankenfurter from "Rocky Horror Picture Show") to the big showdown between good and evil (evil being armed with foam rubber hammers) this movie is nothing but a slow, agonizing, descent into cinematic masochism. If it wasn't for the presence of multiple friends to help riff on this movie, there is no way I could sit through it. After showing this, I've had friends refuse to never again let me pick movies for us to watch. This movie is pain, watch it at your discretion.