Raptor Island (2004 TV Movie)
1/10
Sugar Maples in the South China Sea Jungle
2 May 2005
This move was a 10.5 on our Cheez-o-meter, the highest ranking possible, thanks to the earthquake movie of the same name. We knew we were setting ourselves up for a lambasting with "Raptor Island", we just didn't realize how badly.

OK, so the movie is made on the super cheap, with crappy CGI, models that scream "REVELL!!" and an utterly ridiculous plot scenario. I can get past a lot of cheapness necessitated by TV movie budgets, but what I cannot accept is the flagrant carelessness of the director. C'mon, people, the story takes place on an island in the South China Sea: so why are we looking at boreal forest, replete with ivy-covered trees, in what is obviously fall? During the scene where Hack and Jamie are holed up in the plane wreckage, their breath is clearly visible when they speak. Sorry, folks, no matter how you slice it, British Columbia can never stand in for a tropical island.

And what was with that weather at the end? The captain says their "socked in" "in this pea soup", but the island is having a lovely red sunset. Cut to helicopter pilot guy, shown in the cockpit with a raging ocean behind him. Cut to island sunset. Cut to helicopter flying over wrecked zodiac - it's night. Cut to Hack and Jamie, fighting off the bad guy, in full daylight. Cut back to pilot, shown in cockpit with that same raging ocean behind him. Cut to sunset. WASN'T ANYONE PAYING ATTENTION? Could they have at least TRIED to seem as though they were trying to be credible? Though this one was ripe for Joel and the Bots, we had plenty of fun of our own. Sublimely silly and purely ridiculous, there is no excuse to watch "Raptor Island", unless you're socked in by pea soup. Which we were.
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