I am getting sick and tired of these rappers becoming actors and making bad movies. First it was Romeo Must Die (2000), then it was the mildly entertaining Exit Wounds (2001) and now it's Cradle 2 the Grave (2003), all produced by Joel Silver (and directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak). Here is a movie that is on autopilot and overdrive at the same time; it does nothing original, but does it very rapidly.
DMX plays Tony, whose last name sounds like fate, but is spelled "Fait." But the film gives us no clue as to how it is written. Fait and his cohorts (Gabrielle Union, Anthony Anderson) break into an L.A. diamond vault in a attempt to a steal a couple of black diamonds. But their caper is interrupted by Su (Jet Li), a Taiwanese cop. Then, bad guys (led by Mark Dacascos) kidnap Fait's beloved daughter, while trying to make an exchange for the stolen diamonds, which are actually a superweapon, which would probably bring down the cost of the weapons of mass destruction.
There are some interesting moments in Cradle 2 the Grave, such as when Fait goes to revisit an old friend (Chi McBride) in prison. This isn't your typical prisoner. He has a luxury cell, where prison guards deliver him mail, while his prison buddy makes his fresh lobster.
It also goes for homophobic jokes, and assumes that security guards are very slow learners. Gabrielle Union enters an L.A. building to hit on the male receptionist, who turns out to be gay. So, plan B is to send in Anthony Anderson to flirt on him. When two people try to pick you up in 10 minutes and you're a security guard on duty, do you suspect anything?
Jet Li has done a lot of bad American action films in the past, and here he proves that he is walking into Steven Seagal territory, and his dialogue is flat and amateurish. DMX is dull, loud and boring as the hero, and Gabrielle Union has a thankless role here, except to impress the audience with a striptease scene, while engaging in a cat-fight with Kelly Hu as one of the villains, who sole purpose is to slap the kid around, and keep her locked up in an old, rusty van.
Anthony Anderson and Tom Arnold re-team in another Joel Silver-produced film, and they redeem themselves during the end credits where they decide to make a film about their adventures. Although, it seems ad-libbed, it is a scene that is smart, self-aware and funny in ways that the movie is not.
Like Romeo Must Die and Exit Wounds before it, Cradle 2 the Grave is more than one big action picture. It's a big advertisement for popular and rising rappers. While the film is littered with non-stop violence, rap music drones in the background, distracting the viewer. And one has yet to wonder just what exactly the title is referring to. Maybe the filmmakers thought that it was a cool title that will lure in audiences. Whether you find the title cool or not, Cradle 2 the Grave is one of the worst movies of the year.
DMX plays Tony, whose last name sounds like fate, but is spelled "Fait." But the film gives us no clue as to how it is written. Fait and his cohorts (Gabrielle Union, Anthony Anderson) break into an L.A. diamond vault in a attempt to a steal a couple of black diamonds. But their caper is interrupted by Su (Jet Li), a Taiwanese cop. Then, bad guys (led by Mark Dacascos) kidnap Fait's beloved daughter, while trying to make an exchange for the stolen diamonds, which are actually a superweapon, which would probably bring down the cost of the weapons of mass destruction.
There are some interesting moments in Cradle 2 the Grave, such as when Fait goes to revisit an old friend (Chi McBride) in prison. This isn't your typical prisoner. He has a luxury cell, where prison guards deliver him mail, while his prison buddy makes his fresh lobster.
It also goes for homophobic jokes, and assumes that security guards are very slow learners. Gabrielle Union enters an L.A. building to hit on the male receptionist, who turns out to be gay. So, plan B is to send in Anthony Anderson to flirt on him. When two people try to pick you up in 10 minutes and you're a security guard on duty, do you suspect anything?
Jet Li has done a lot of bad American action films in the past, and here he proves that he is walking into Steven Seagal territory, and his dialogue is flat and amateurish. DMX is dull, loud and boring as the hero, and Gabrielle Union has a thankless role here, except to impress the audience with a striptease scene, while engaging in a cat-fight with Kelly Hu as one of the villains, who sole purpose is to slap the kid around, and keep her locked up in an old, rusty van.
Anthony Anderson and Tom Arnold re-team in another Joel Silver-produced film, and they redeem themselves during the end credits where they decide to make a film about their adventures. Although, it seems ad-libbed, it is a scene that is smart, self-aware and funny in ways that the movie is not.
Like Romeo Must Die and Exit Wounds before it, Cradle 2 the Grave is more than one big action picture. It's a big advertisement for popular and rising rappers. While the film is littered with non-stop violence, rap music drones in the background, distracting the viewer. And one has yet to wonder just what exactly the title is referring to. Maybe the filmmakers thought that it was a cool title that will lure in audiences. Whether you find the title cool or not, Cradle 2 the Grave is one of the worst movies of the year.