RoboCop (1988)
1/10
Words cannot describe how bad it is.
9 December 2005
RoboCop was an awesome movie and could have been a great franchise. I mean this was an R-rated film and loads of parents let their kids see it. Even though it had limbs getting blown off, melting men, buckets of gore and satire that would, no doubt, go right over the heads of kids, it was still yapped about in every playground. I was one of them.

Yes, the violence was the main thing that attracted me to RoboCop. But I knew the difference between fiction and real life, I could tell that the film wasn't meant to be taken too seriously and, to tell the truth, upon repeat viewings I was more interested in RoboCop's tragic afterlife/rebirth than anything else.

But someone, somewhere thought that castrating Robo of all that was unique to him and selling it off direct to the kiddies was a good idea. It certainly was not. Movies can often make great kid's shows (The Real Ghostbusters, Batman) but not when it means compromising everything that made it so good in the first place. Making a kid's of RoboCop is just as moronic as making a kid's show of Freddy Krueger. And how the hell can Clarence Boddicker be in it if he died in the movie?

Remember that massive gun of Robo's? Well when he shoots it in this cartoon there is no entry or exit wound, no blood and the baddies fall down and die anyway. Then, a few seconds later, they are alright and alive as Robo arrests them. What??? I may have been a child but I wasn't stupid! And why is it now some kind of laser gun? And if it blows holes in walls and doors and other giant robots (every other episode would feature a giant robot) then why would it not blow apart a human? The main focus of every episode was to have contrived, annoying characters who serve no purpose other than to make poor stories happen (Lt. Hedgecock especially) spout appalling dialogue and constantly put the man in the can down by calling him loads of silly names, like 'that bucket of bolts', 'that rustbucket', 'that tin can', 'that (fill-in-the-blank but use either rust or bolts or bucket or can)'. I know characters need adversaries or obstacles. But this was pathetic.

No kid liked this show. It insulted their intelligence and embarrassed a great movie. Forget that it exists. Even if they kept the main RoboCop theme or maintained the political subplots (yes, a child CAN understand this) it could have been bearable.

Sadly, as it is, it's unbearable.
16 out of 30 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed