Review of King Kong

King Kong (2005)
Huge Disappointment ... too dumb for words
16 December 2005
Warning: Spoilers
HUGE SPOILERS...................................................

One hour of exposition to start the film doesn't work, especially after the movie degenerates in to asinine, over-the-top CGI action. This movie really never knew what it wanted to be. Jack Black played his role as cheesy as possible and that hurt the film at every turn. Besides Ann, none of the characters were fleshed out even with the long introductions. I was truly disappointed in the way the story was told.

Still, you don't go to a monster flick for the plot, even the "king" of all monster flicks. They spent hundreds of millions on a CG budget and wasted almost every penny. Despite the big budget, does it get any worse or any more "greenscreen" then that preposterous and downright awful Brontosaurus stampede? Why the need for the gross-out giant bug valley scene? Does Kong get attacked by giant bats at his home every night? Those same bats would rather attack a giant ape then eat the two humans standing right there? That whole escape scene was beyond bad. Did I really see our two heroes ride a giant bat like a glider down to the river below? Oy. This went even beyond James Bond type implausible stupidity. I'm all for the suspension of disbelief, especially when dealing with 30 foot tall apes, but some of this stuff was too stupid to believe. Worse, most of these antics didn't register as real to the minds eye…poor use of modern CGI if you ask me. Good construction and technology but poorly used by Peter Jackson. Plot holes were everywhere. Why did grabbing a taxi (a 1930s mule to boot) and getting Kong to follow help anything? The destruction was still wide spread. It's a good thing that the chase ended on the street where the Ann character was waiting, beautifully back lit. It obviously wasn't very cold in winter back in 1930s New York because there was hardly a breeze or a chill on the very top of the Empire State building. I could go on but why bother? Why do they think we'd care about this giant ape who brutally murders multiple humans during the course of the film? Any critics that say this has emotional resonance are just fooling themselves. Kong fires the black guy (Jimmy's mentor) off a cliff, throws multiple people off a log bridge and then bites a guy in two right before he gets KO'd and we cut to Ann crying? Huh? Are we suppose to feel sorry for Kong? I'd have felt sorry for me as a movie ticket buyer if it hadn't been for the Tyrannosaurus Rex vs Kong stuff, however. Those 15 minutes or so almost saved the movie for me. Almost.
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