launchd Review of American Pie Presents: Band Camp

American Pie Presents: Band Camp (2005 Video)

Dude, where's my plot line of interest?

[1/10 · 23 December 2005]

...though the 3rd "American Pie" film was a disgust fest, one could wonder just how much of a turkey the 4th entry of the franchise has to be when it suddenly appears in TV commercials selling as DIRECT TO DVD. Though film #1 brought American classlessness to a new low by making Intercourse with a cherry pie acceptable, the scenes of some young schmuck getting stuck in a clarinet are certain to have the film going populace laughing to tears. Oh gosh, what will those wily folks in Hollywood think up next?? Where will Eugene Levy's next breathtaking performance show up? "American Pie: the Miniseries", the drama behind bringing the the epic film series to the big screen? Watch as union cooks continue to bake up replacement pies while Jason Biggs masters acting by simulating sex with the hot tasty bakery treat over the duration of 37 takes. Watch as Jason Biggs mulls over having three agents depart his employ during the span of the film series production. Watch as Biggs realizes, finally, that yes, "Saving Silverman" quite probably really is the zenith of his short, stupid career and that he might as well accept "Inane B.S." as his nickname. Watch as America finally realizes that Chris Klein has zero to no talent except as the sterling poster child for generation X. Hold back your surprise as Tara Reid tries to......do something. Watch as Mena Suvari almost trumps her legit acting career straight into the toilet. Watch as original director Paul Weitz tries to resurrect what was a promising career by attempting a "Hill Street Blues" reunion TV movie. Better yet- don't watch.