Review of Scorchers

Scorchers (1991)
1/10
Bad is an understatement
28 January 2006
I began to watch this movie after taping it on TV, and was simply astounded. The producers have performed a miracle, by somehow persuading talented and famous actors to take part in a piece of trash that would be jeered off the stage if written and presented by a group of retarded amateurs.

The long opening monologue was tedious, but it came as a surprise that it had no bearing on anything that followed. I admit that I didn't watch every scene and hear every word, as I was often forced to fast-forward by the long-winded and feeble dialogue. Even then, the bedroom scenes appeared to go forever.

My heart went out to the actors, who must surely have been painfully embarrassed. Presumablt y they signed a contract before they saw the script, if one could call it a script. But like true professionals (at least the four or five who could act) they slugged on to the end.

To sum up, it was like 1920's slapstick without the wit. In fact maybe it would be less tedious if it were screened without the sound. My advice: dodge this one and hire "Pass the Ammo."
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