A classic of sustained awfulness.
7 June 2006
Warning: Spoilers
The "let's make a cheap (CHEAP) fantasy film" industry has over the years managed to generate at least as much bad acting as old westerns, 1930s-40s serials, Ed Wood films, and porn that aspires to plot lines. And it must be observed that Charles Middleton and Harry Reems (e.g.) could display some slight modicum of the thespian muse -- of which in this mutt of a film there isn't the slightest trace.

Imagine an average High School English class, slogging through a Shakespeare play by reading the parts and hating them. No, the acting here isn't that bad -- it's worse. The impression can't be avoided that that --um, "performers" in this film were selected based precisely on their inability to register emotion. We will dispense with the usual listing of the (understandably unknown) names in order to protect the guilty.

Overall, "Max Magician" is unusually derivative, unimaginative, and overwritten, even for a 3-day-wonder very-low-budget fantasy film. The situations that occur are frequently contrived to the point of absurdity and with an eye toward cheap melodrama.

The plot, such as it is, involves a kid named Max who has difficulties with a school bully (how original!) and is a not untalented amateur magician. He's given an obviously ancient book of (real) magic spells by an elderly neighbor, with the advice to "believe in yourself". Nobody ever explains what this means, but in every crisis the kid has somebody (a mouse or a hawk or whatever) yelling this generic bit of street-corner philosophy at him.

Max uses the book to enter a fantasy world in which there is a developing struggle between elves, trolls, and other inmates of your usual $5-per-CD role-playing game. A deus-ex-machina wizard shows up to teach him to use the spells in his book whilst dispensing platitudinous advice that makes Polonius look like a sage.

Max uses his newfound magic to assist the elves and their friends against the evil troll king (or whatever he is with the ostentatious horns on his head). Max's late confrontation with the latter doesn't amount to much but is nonetheless decisive. The "rings" of the title are a direct steal in basic concept from Tolkien, but have neither a legend nor a significant role to play in the film. In the end there is another confrontation between Max and the bully -- which, however, is unsatisfactorily indecisive.

I wish I could tell you that "Max Magician" has some redeeming feature or features. Alas. While the print used on the DVD is quite clear, it only serves to emphasize how cheesy the "magic" effects (such as they are) appear. Oddly, the makeup isn't all that bad, although elf ears are no more convincing than convention-issue Spock ears. Special effects are minimal and are generally foggy and sparkly effects superimposed on the film. The script, including the mandatory bwa-ha-ha-has from the chief bad guy, lurches from banality to banality.

I don't recommend this film, even for children. We have to maintain some sort of minimum quality standard insofar as they're concerned. Besides, anybody over the age of 5 (if not younger) will watch this with the constant thought that, "Gee, I could be watching mud wrestling instead." It's instructive to note that prices for used copies on Amazon have plummeted to $0.01 (yep, 1 cent) ... although some idiot thinks he's going to get $50 for it. Probably from some other idiot.
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