Woodyanders Review of Bakterion

Bakterion (1982)

An enjoyably tacky lump of Italian sci-fi/horror cheese

[8/10 · 2 September 2006]

Your standard "Frankenstein"esque mad scientist messing around with ill-advised covert bacteriological war experiments premise gets clumsily crossed with a similarly hackneyed crazed killer on the loose story with a dash of that old reliable standby of the deadly plague which could wipe out thousands of folks if it isn't nipped in the bud right away in this energetically cheesy and entertainingly slapdash grab-bag Italian sci-fi/horror thriller. An accident at a top secret government lab turns a professor into a hideously malformed, murderously deranged and seemingly indestructible humanoid beast with scraggly hair, an ugly, bloated, pus-oozing, skin-peeling boil-like face, superhuman strength, a horrid wheezy moan of a voice, and a decidedly antisocial sanguinary disposition. Worse yet, Mr. Unsightly Dementoid Freakshow has a highly lethal and contagious degenerative disease which forces anyone infected with said ailment to bag other people for their precious blood. Naturally, the ghastly mutant goes on a grisly killing spree in Great Britain, attacking a libidinous teenage couple doing just what you think in the back of a car, a lovely young blonde lady in the middle of taking a shower, the audience in a movie theater watching an asinine comedy, a plastered out of his skull drunk, and, best of all, even a priest (yes!). It's up to two-fisted man of action David Warbeck (who carries himself here with the same stolid austerity he brought to such Lucio Fulci flicks as "The Beyond" and "The Black Cat") and fetching femme doctor Janet ("Eaten Alive," "The Gates of Hell") Agren to stop the pitiably grotesque monster before things get disastrously out of hand. Sure, the basic plot is anything but original or inspired, but handy helpings of frequent violence, a grimly serious tone, Gionanni Bergamini's spirited direction, an unerringly fast and steady pace, and the wildly eventful narrative ensure that this baby remains a satisfyingly schlocky affair from start to finish just the same.