They Crawl (2001)
4/10
They crawl: you laugh
9 June 2007
Another hokey Sci-Fi channel offering, this time the monsters on the loose are smart cockroaches that swarm around a lot. The cucarachas croak a bus driver who likes to smash his bus through office building lobbies, then somebody gets killed in a bombing. You guessed it: a government conspiracy is behind it all.

Our heroes include a Jordache Jeans commercial guy (brother of the bombing victim), and a lady cop who shoots anything she sees: roach swarms, boxes, trucks, cars, buildings, into mid-air, and occasionally even a bad guy. When Officer Ripley runs out of ammunition with one weapon, she grabs another gun and resumes firing. As for Jordache, he just sticks his nose everywhere, while bodies pile up. The cop captain is the usual skeptic who does nothing, and the head honcho nasty guy is a comical stereotype, who snarls when he talks. They even had the nerve to use the ridiculous "bad guy pauses to explain the evil plot to the good guys before shooting them" routine. The obvious poetic justice is served, of course.

But stay tuned for the grand finale. The debut of one of the most hilariously inept monster creatures ever spawned still awaits you. He was about as intimidating as a Teletubby, and the final scene had me laughing until I could hardly breathe.

A hilariously stupid movie.
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