Review of Dark Ride

Dark Ride (2006)
2/10
The wasted potential disturbed me the most
11 July 2007
Warning: Spoilers
I've been a fan of horror for decades. I have appreciated some attempts by some newcomers to the genre. Some fall flat on their face. Others hit the ground running. Some of the former have an excuse however. You can tell when production level is a hindrance to relaying a well executed plan and if some of these film makers were to get their hands on decent resources I'm pretty sure their final project would be much more enjoyable.

With Dark Ride we have the unfortunate opposite and it left me loathing the production for one simple fact. These people HAD the production value to create a very effective horror film and they spoiled it with a script that pretty much sucked from beginning to end.

Most people call it cliché. There's a fine line between cliché and stupidity. I read an earlier review that hit the nail on the head. Not ONE of these characters had any redeeming qualities about them. If you cannot make someone likable after 40 minutes of character development? There's a problem. It wasn't as much bad acting as it was lame dialogue. At times I could almost sense the cast being embarrassed with their lines as they were delivered.

Things were going so-so up until the part where the characters realize WHY they were at the park to begin with. At that point I started slightly cocking my head like a confused puppy while watching.

There is obviously a comparison to Tobe Hooper's early 80's Funhouse. Funhouse gave the audience the feeling that these people were really trapped. I couldn't buy the character's peril in Dark Ride since I knew that the door keeping them locked in was mere plywood and if even one of the girls put a boot to it, it would have disintegrated and that would have been the end. This is one of many problems that plagued this movie. If their confinement was actually impregnable after the cast exhausted all options of getting out, then the terror would have been present. Imagine how House on Haunted Hill (1999) would have been if the lockdown doors were cardboard and everyone panicked, scrambled to get out without trying to bust through it.

If I can end on a positive note it would be to say that the gore in the movie was very well done. We get lots of messy disembowelments, a nice head splitting, decapitation and more. The gorehound in me give props to the special effects people. This is the first of the '8 movies to die for' that I have watched. I'm hoping the others will be much better.
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