The rental box for this piece of crap should be stamped with a large warning label: 'For Children Only. May cause vomiting and suicidal thoughts for adults'. Except, of course, that the film's violence has earned it a PG rating, so I'm not sure if parents would choose this for their kids, either. Well, the Turtles are back in a movie that looks so much like a video game that all it needs is the Sony PS3 logo. The acting is fine with such names as Patrick Stewart as villain, Max Winters and Laurence Fishburne as the narrator. The story is kindergarten simple and the dialog is on a par with the most mediocre Saturday morning efforts. There is less action that you would expect to find and the jokes don't work. So what's left? The film starts with a 3,000-year-old back-story that ends with 13 monsters being released into the world. Meanwhile, old turtle friend April O'Neil sets out to find Leonardo who has been training alone in Central America. She convinces him to return to his family, which has been floundering in his absence. Isn't the profound wisdom of Master Splinter enough to keep these guys on track? Anyways, he does return and after a bunch of squabbling, the turtles get back down to the business of making money- I mean fighting evil.
I can only guess that this mass marketing machine that lead off with a movie is aimed at youngsters and maybe at those who enjoyed the cartoons, movies and games from the last time these four were set upon the wallets of impressionable children and their helpless parents. There is nothing new to offer, here and what is re-hashed wasn't interesting the first twenty times we saw it in movies exactly like this one.
This work was first posted on realmoviereview.com
I can only guess that this mass marketing machine that lead off with a movie is aimed at youngsters and maybe at those who enjoyed the cartoons, movies and games from the last time these four were set upon the wallets of impressionable children and their helpless parents. There is nothing new to offer, here and what is re-hashed wasn't interesting the first twenty times we saw it in movies exactly like this one.
This work was first posted on realmoviereview.com