... because it's a perfect recipe on how to make an awful movie:
First you screen the last 40 years of horror movies and pick out the worst and most repeated clichés. Then you mix and put them together randomly, and if this mix makes just the hint of a meaningful plot... you remix. When you have a script with no meaning or logic at all you progress to the next step.
The actors. If you can't find amateur theatrical actors, you will probably have to pay professionals to over-act like it was a junior high school parents play: They cry, they shout, they make funny (scary ??) faces and strange looks with their eyes, they break down, they pretend with all means from their body language, they cry again, pretend again... and on... and on again.
Then you will need a sound design and a sound track. Because you have decided that this is a horror movie, you off cause need violins playing and strange, SCAAAAAAARY sounds. And a lot of it! Actually, you need so much of it that there isn't no room for it in the movie. But don't worry - you just toss it in. Don't care whether or not the sound fits what happens on the screen - you just turn up the master volume so loud that it shocks the audience when effects or music starts. It's a horror movie... so it's OK.
Now you are so deep into the production process that you have reached the point of no return. Despite the fact that you have realized that the ingredients have no taste, and the dish will end up with no flavor at all, you try to save it by using some spices.
You hire an artist to make an impressive set design: Strange, abandon houses with mysterious interior, decorations and symbols. But the artist can't help you with a new problem: How to connect this design with the story? Then you try a last way out: The picture. You find a skilled cinematographer who shoots the film beautiful, and one of your tech guys turns out to be a true magician when it comes to color grading.
You screen your final cut and realize that using the spices was in vain: The fine visual style of the movie turns pretentious when it's made to cover up a bad movie... like to much make up on bad skin.
To give yourself an artistic excuse for making and releasing the movie, you decide to make a new end, and a new title to the movie. The common factor of the movie, the title and the final scene is now the total lack of meaning...
--- This movie is a serious contender to the title of the worst movie ever made. It's a must see - must have: You can't conclude that you have seen a bad movie before you a seen this one. It has set a new standard for movies released for cinemas.
First you screen the last 40 years of horror movies and pick out the worst and most repeated clichés. Then you mix and put them together randomly, and if this mix makes just the hint of a meaningful plot... you remix. When you have a script with no meaning or logic at all you progress to the next step.
The actors. If you can't find amateur theatrical actors, you will probably have to pay professionals to over-act like it was a junior high school parents play: They cry, they shout, they make funny (scary ??) faces and strange looks with their eyes, they break down, they pretend with all means from their body language, they cry again, pretend again... and on... and on again.
Then you will need a sound design and a sound track. Because you have decided that this is a horror movie, you off cause need violins playing and strange, SCAAAAAAARY sounds. And a lot of it! Actually, you need so much of it that there isn't no room for it in the movie. But don't worry - you just toss it in. Don't care whether or not the sound fits what happens on the screen - you just turn up the master volume so loud that it shocks the audience when effects or music starts. It's a horror movie... so it's OK.
Now you are so deep into the production process that you have reached the point of no return. Despite the fact that you have realized that the ingredients have no taste, and the dish will end up with no flavor at all, you try to save it by using some spices.
You hire an artist to make an impressive set design: Strange, abandon houses with mysterious interior, decorations and symbols. But the artist can't help you with a new problem: How to connect this design with the story? Then you try a last way out: The picture. You find a skilled cinematographer who shoots the film beautiful, and one of your tech guys turns out to be a true magician when it comes to color grading.
You screen your final cut and realize that using the spices was in vain: The fine visual style of the movie turns pretentious when it's made to cover up a bad movie... like to much make up on bad skin.
To give yourself an artistic excuse for making and releasing the movie, you decide to make a new end, and a new title to the movie. The common factor of the movie, the title and the final scene is now the total lack of meaning...
--- This movie is a serious contender to the title of the worst movie ever made. It's a must see - must have: You can't conclude that you have seen a bad movie before you a seen this one. It has set a new standard for movies released for cinemas.