Review of Body Count

Body Count (1995)
2/10
yuk
22 January 2008
this movie is bad enough to make Richard Kern reach for an air- sickness bag. The plot involves a ruthless hit-man (Sonny Chiba), who is imprisoned for killing, a seemingly well protected mob-boss; after escaping with the help of his equally ruthless girlfriend (Brigitte Nielsen), he finds out that he was setup, by some F.B.I agents, or something (i don't remember the plot to well, as i spent the next two weeks, trying erase this film from my mind). Aperintlly, the agents where having a hard time catching this particular mob-boss, so their goal was to hire the hit-man to kill him off, and then have the hit- man arrested for his murder, thus successfully covering their tracks; or so they think. Needless to say (but i'm going to say it anyway), both the hit-man, and his girlfriend go on a rampage of revenge. Sounds like a good idea for a "Street Fighter" movie, doesn't it? I'll bet you think this will lead to lots of highly intense, bone-crushing, eye- gouging, groin-ripping head-bashing, Chiba-action, don't you? Well, you would be wrong pal; this is not "The Street Fighter," this is "Body Count," your lucky if you can find, a bit of almost halfway decent camp-value; and who's bright idea was it to have Sonny Chiba loose in the end? Cinema rule no.1 is; CHIBA NEVER LOSSES!!!! He doesn't even lose to anyone worth losing to, the "heros" of this movie are couple of big, dumb Neanderthals, who use a fighting style, that one of them refers to as "boxing," but witch really looks more like "slugging;" they preform this style by swinging their fists wildly at the target, making the strikes as slow, clumsy, and as easy to dodge as possible; which Chiba does, until the very end, when the script told him not to. In all fairness there are some good action sense, but they are too few, and far between. If you are a Sonny Chiba fan, then stick to something more like, 'Shugun's Samurai', or 'The Executioner'. Shelve this one with, 'The Bodygaurd,' and try your best to forget that it exists.
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