3/10
Surprise: there's no surprise!
29 June 2008
In 2004, there was a movie, called "Supersize me". It came out right at the same year as (you can call it famous or infamous) Fahrenheit 9/11. Supersize me was unmistakeably inspired by Moores style of film-making, and it proved it's statement much better.

The statement: In McDonalds, the super-size menu is so enormous, that if you eat all of it, you're gonna get fat.

Simple, isn't it? Maybe a little too simple for my taste. I mean we all at least suspect, that some weird crap is going on with fast food... You can here rumors, that they make it out of rat-meat, plastic-bags, etc... So, when Linklaters movie, Fast food nation came out in 2006, and promised to reveal all these filthy mysteries, I became quite excited.

I was expecting some really twisted, thought provoking movie, which wrenches my guts so much, I'd never even think of eating fast food again. And what DID we got? A film with all these rumors about Fast Food. Okay, We were expecting that, but really is that all? According to this film, factories, are not very clean, workers aren't very well trained, restaurant workers are assholes, corps are evil, and there's manure in the meat.

That doesn't sound very thought-provoking. Really that's all? Well yes. oh... And Mexican immigrants are treated worse than crap. Wow.

And the most shocking fact is: We know all that. This fictional movie (based on a book, which I haven't read, but I'm not interested in anymore) tells you exactly what you already thought was true.

But the worst thing about it is the way it tells all these stuff. Imagine this: We'd like to make a movie about... let's see: Famine in Africa. We're gonna entitle it "No food nation". In the story, random people will meet, one would say, that the famine is horrible, and something should be done, while the other wouldn't care because he's a jerk. And we should have some very thin natives too, and some should die at the end. And we should cut back sometimes to see fat, white politicians. That'd be the story. And let's hire some random Hollywood superstars, to show off their faces in cameos.

Honestly, would you like to watch this movie? Nope, I don't think so. It'd be a disaster, and an insult for YOU, the viewer. The only people who could learn anything new from this story, would be elementary school first graders.

So, here we got the most clichéd story about fast food imaginable, premised, as some groundbreaking work. And we have some clichéd characters too! Fast food corp boss (naughty) His employee, who has a mission to find out how did the poo get into the meat (nice), Girl, who works at a fast food diner, but wants to go to college, then quits her job, because she hates this evil corporation (nice), her colleague who spits in the burgers,

(naughty) Farmer, who had his whole farm screwed because of fast food (nice), College dude+dudette Who don't like fast-food, but doesn't actually do anything about it (naughty, but later nice), Rebel college dude, with long hair (nice), Poor Mexican immigrant girl, treated like crap (nice), Her evil boss, who treats her like crap (naughty). So basically, it's good versus evil, but without the Death star and light-sword fights, it isn't very convincing.

And there's Bruce Willis.

Of course his role is as banal, as it gets, but he is a great actor, and a very likable person. So, when he's trying to play some redneck idiot, who is very cynical, and doesn't gives a dime about whether there is crap in the beef, or not, you realize that there's something about this character, which doesn't make you sick immediately! Wait, shouldn't he play a naughty character? Like the boss the the factory? Whoa! I'm so confused! I've already got used to all this thin, paper cut-out figurines, I didn't expect a character which almost comes close to be almost not that much fake. And we just should NOT talk about A. L. No. Not a word.

Lastly: about the shock factor. It's in another movie. They tried quite hard, so now we finally know: Being an undereducated, Mexican immigrant sucks, and being a dead cow sucks even more... Watching this movie sucks the most. If you thought the story was lame and banal, wait till you get to the slaughterhouse scene... OH MY GOD!!!! They're... GOD... They're BUTCHERING COWS!!!! I can't believe my eyes! And there's blood! Blood everywhere! And the cows are dying! And they're turning them into... BEEF! Did you know THAT???!!!!!

Seriously did they want to shock me with THAT? I DO eat meat. I DO know where it comes from. My grandparents lived out in the country, and they had a bunch of animals, like chicken and some pigs. I know precisely how they cut up each of them, and it was only shocking the very first time I saw it. And when I see a movie, which tries to taze me in a way this cheap, I feel quite mad. And this movie does it so bad, even Cannibal Holocaust had more effective animal slaughters, and that wasn't by any mean a "serious" film like this. That was just a Jungle adventure/horror flick!!!

I give this film a 3, because I really like Bruce Willis, and I had a few laughs at some scenes.

If you eat meat, You wont be convinced not to. If you are a vegetarian, you wouldn't like to watch cows being slaughtered, so you shouldn't watch this movie either. Anyway, I would not recommend this filmed fable to anybody above the age of seven... But would you recommend dead cows to a little kid?

Not at all. They deserve better.
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