Jaws 3-D (1983)
A deadly new attraction.
11 July 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Yet another movie about a giant shark wreaking havoc. This time around it takes place at Sea World, and the main characters are the sons of the previous film's hero, Martin Brody. After several people are killed by a shark, the baby is accidentally captured, being mistaken for the culprit. Things take an exciting turn, when the culprit shark arrives to find it's baby and have a bite to eat. It's actually amazing that anybody in their right mind would be willing to take a risk making another Jaws movie, but I'm sure the 3-D effects helped it out a little. I'll admit that the cinematography was pretty nice in some spots, and the music could be pretty exciting, but it isn't as scary or as suspenseful as the incredible previous films. The acting in this movie is abysmal with a few exceptions, Dennis Quaid was okay as the hero, Louis Gossett Jr. helped to keep the movie afloat, no pun intended. And Lea Thompson wasn't all that bad either, she's mostly there for eye candy but whatever. The other actors were pretty lame, including the pompous Australian character who becomes dinner for the shark.

The special effects can't even save the movie though, they are seriously some of the worst I have ever seen. There are several cheesy shots that were obviously for the three dimensional magic that simply doesn't exist without the glasses and the various super imposed images are extremely laughable, at one point you can actually see part of the little submarine get eaten up by the blue screen. The most gruesome scene in the movie is when despite his dull death scene, the shark's first victim's corpse floats in front of a glass tunnel and scaring everyone to death. It was funny when the corpse is right against the glass wall, right in front of a teenage girl, who is not only screaming in utter terror, but is pressed against the glass. I laughed so hard during this insanely goofy scene. On the other hand, it was gross seeing the corpse laid out on a table completely skinless from the neck down, and crabs crawling out of his mouth, pretty cool. I'm sure it must have been somewhat entertaining to see this movie in it's original cheesy 3-D glory, it's pretty horrible without it.

The scene where the shark busts through glass and and floods a control room is unforgettable. The super imposed shark is motionlessly floating toward the camera, and there are various shots of the characters inside in slow motion. I watched this with my mom and she thought something was wrong with the video, she didn't realize it was for dramatic effect until halfway through the scene. When the shark busts through the glass, some glass shatters and falls, the shark is still floating there completely still. This can be excused thanks to the shark's death scene, which is still tainted by effects that would only be slightly cool in 3-D. Bottom line, this is mediocre movie and can only be fun because it's so awful that it's funny. The better parts of the movie, is the fast paced second half, Dennis Quaid, Louis Gossett Jr. and seeing Lea Thompson in a swimsuit, which was probably the saving grace of the movie. I don't really recommend this movie, but if you're just that curious to see how low the series was falling then knock yourself out. The first and original movie was a masterpiece that never needed a sequel, the second one was still pretty good, this one bites and bears no resemblance to anything the previous ones offered, but then there's a fourth one.
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