The Hard Easy (2006)
6/10
45 Minutes of Movie, Padded to Feature Length
22 July 2008
David Boreanaz is not the world's greatest actor. I know this. He has good instincts, and has even been decent in some projects, but without an experienced director to really tell him what to do, he does tend to come off looking a little amateurish.

Don't know who Ari Ryan is, but kudos to him for getting a film made. I'm sure he was paid very well. But his direction is simplistic and camera-work uninspired (and at times confusing), and for the first hour, all the characters do is bark at one another, whining about how they're not going to take part in a heist that we already know from the first scene is going to take place.

There ARE a few good one-liners... but veteran actors like Peter Weller, Bruce Dern, and even Henry Thomas (hey, he's been doing this since 1982) know how to make it work. Gary Busey managed to act sober for nearly all of his scenes. Vera Farmiga was a year away from "The Departed," and certainly does her best with what's given her, though that isn't much. Her character takes an unnecessary u-turn late in the movie, and she motivates it as best she can. But left field is left field, and lousy writing is lousy writing.

The rest of the performances just kind of lay there. To even call Nick Lachey an actor is an insult to actual actors. The plot synopsis promised two gangs of thieves doing a heist at the same bank on the same day, but the reality is that (a) it's not a bank, it's a jewelry store, (b) they're not thieves, they're amateurs, and (c) we see a bit of the heist in the opening scene, then we flashback and they spend 90 minutes talking about it, to get us back there. We already know it's going to happen, so where's the dilemma? Get to the good stuff, man, it's fun to watch RoboCop berate people and all, but no one's going to see your movie just because of Weller in a supporting role.

Really you could ditch most of the movies first half; Henry Thomas' character is at least interesting (the lovable loser), but then the movie takes a giant crap on everyone around him in the final act, making all that set-up completely irrelevant. Boreanaz' half of the movie isn't interesting at all; His character is a selfish, materialistic jerk, and he's surrounded by selfish, materialistic jerks. The audience isn't interested. Get on with it.

As a short film, this might work. It was a good idea. Unwatchable action sequences, too much exposition and too many bad actors nearly ruin the whole affair. The few good actors make it watchable... but when it ends, you'll wonder what the point of the first 60 minutes was, if the filmmakers care so little about the characters they took pains to create.

6/10. Someone give Henry Thomas a better movie, already.
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