5/10
What was a temple is now an amusement park....
22 January 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Del Toro does a fine job of creating creepy monsters from which the world needs saving, but here, he takes a strong step back from the fun of the first movie. Primarily, the storyline is a parody of itself, with many parts of the plot so absurd as to make it difficult to lose oneself in this movie.

There are, as other reviewers have noted, lots of bits of homage to other movies in the genre (if not outright theft from them) - enough to make spotting them a game, distracting from the movie itself. The characters aren't given nearly as much development as they had in the first movie - in fact, they become parodies of themselves. For example, the Hellboy who had promised to be unobtrusive, is giving interviews to a television news crew 5 minutes later.

But story is where this really falls flat. Serious spoilers follow.

Okay - the Elvish prince, to save their world from an excess of shopping centers, kills his beloved father, the king - just as if nobody else in the kingdom would care. Liz, whose powers are the only effective counter to the (delightfully creepy) tooth faeries, declines to unleash said powers until everyone else in the building has been slaughtered, other than central characters - and then causes an explosion strong enough to toss Hellboy through the wall. Everyone else, of course, survives the blast with no problems. Abe Sapien needs the gill suit, but only outside of the BPRD headquarters - inside, he wanders around without it, without trouble. Abe and Hellboy, drinking to console themselves over the inscrutability of women and love, devolve into singing along with one of Barry Manilow's sappiest songs. The Elvish princess, after quietly watching her brother take undisputed control of the Golden Army, and suffer defeat at Hellboy's hands, suicides to prevent him from attacking Hellboy again. Krauss, who apparently is ectoplasm in a very Del Toro-esquire robot, can use that ectoplasm to swing a locker door hard enough to emboss Hellboy's face in it, but cannot use it to pull a spear point out.

Parody can be fun, but bringing Hellboy II to such levels of parody is an insult to the franchise, and the audience that loved the first installment. If you don't have a story worth telling, don't make the movie.
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