Review of The Muse

The Muse (1999)
1/10
Horrible, self-congratulatory waste of film
12 March 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Albert Brooks is funny. A good comedic actor and voice-over talent. Some of the funniest scenes involve Mr. Brooks. But what a total piece of doodoo is this.

Why? 1. PRETENTIOUS. I hate movies that show people living perfect, rich lifestyles with syrupy families. How many shots of Albert driving a $75k black Mercedes to his mansion in BH do we need? 2. Shameless cameos by middle-aged bloated actors. Gee, aren't I cool? I'm making a movie about the movie business, wanna do a walk on? We'll nosh after wards. Don't schwitz it! 3. Sharon Stone. Is there a more selfish, untalented actress who forced her way on to the screen that this lady? Yeesh. She's stinks as an actress and her looks are the kind of scary, barren ice queen variety that reminds me of a parasite who sucks the life force out of stupid men in Porsche's. Hideous choice.

4. The story. Gee, do I care that a Hollywood screenwriter is having writer's block and can't crank out the same drivel and trash that is making America even dumber so he can support his completely vapid, boring and lazy trophy wife (nothing against Andie McDowell just talking about the story line kids)? Not to mention the weak 2nd story line of his wife becoming a cookie making sensation! Wow how novel. Another yenta wife of a rich Hollywood star making cookies! Writing a cookbook! Wow! How super! Never mind that it happens in second. Never mind that trying to sell a new chocolate chip cookie in a completely saturated market would be harder than achieving cold fusion in your garage.

Anyhoo.

5. Albert Brooks is one arrogant guy. He loves to be the smartest guy in the room, doesn't he? He thinks he's Einstein. Yeah, I know.

6. Did I mention how completely selfish, arrogant, phony and unsympathetic the characters and the entire situation is? Just checking.

If you want to see Albert Brooks at his best, see Defending Your Life, Lost in America, Broadcast News or Finding Nemo. But forget The Muse.

Unless you want to waste over an hour watching obnoxiously insipid rich people cavort around LA whining about their little club of film making members. Ha ha ha. NOT.
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