5/10
The DVD to see this week!
3 May 2009
Last week I stumbled across this movie and with a title like this I absolutely could not resist. It is a perfectly ludicrous and idiotic sex comedy, prompting some indignant viewers to criticize it for being a porno with no porn in it, but when it comes to the spoofing of well- known Hollywood movies, the good people at Seduction Cinema make people like Aaron Slitzer and Joe Friedman, whatever their names are, look like babbling, drooling babies flinging their own feces at each other, and really, they did a perfectly fine job of that on their own already. Every movie those guys come up with is like a freight train of crap barreling into theaters with no brakes.

Consider the titles. The well-known movies are ones with the most uncreative titles you could possibly think of, Scary Movie. Epic Movie. Date Movie. Disaster Movie. The only thing dumber would be something like Spoof #1. Spoof #2. Etc. Oops, I better stop. I'm giving them an idea for a whole new series of crapfests.

Seduction Cinema is now famous for sex comedies that are heavy on the sex and light on the brains, but at least they don't masquerade as theatrical releases, right? How have the "Movies" been making it into movie theaters all this time? These are typical, brain-dead direct-to-video fare if I've ever seen it, and it's all right there in the titles. Compare the creativity in the titles above with titles like The Insatiable Ironbabe, Kinky Kong, SSI: Sex Squad Investigation, Play-Mate of the Apes, and Who Wants to Be An Erotic Billionaire? Sex comedies get a bad rap in the annals of American cinema, but I would like officially argue that it is much easier to have fun with these guys, who are actually including some comedic creativity in between their overtly gratuitous sex scenes, than it is to have fun with the torturous endurance tests that have been making it to theaters over the last ten years or so.

The story, should you care, involves a villain called The Jerker (you can guess why he gets that name) who plots to steal all of the porn in Bacchum City so that the populace will face the terrifying prospect of painfully backed up plumbing and widespread blue balls. Commissioner Boredom summons Wendy Wane, a stripper by day and Batbabe by night, to save the city from the perils of pornlessness.

The characters and performances are all about level with a bad camp video made by 7-year- olds, but those little kids can't put sex in their videos, can they? Hence, we have movies like this. Mindless and moronic but they are showing a genuine ability to cleverly lampoon major movies, and half the fun is in picking out the different individual scenes from The Dark Knight, for example, that are parodied here. The other half of the fun is watching the sex scenes which, strangely enough, in this particular production go on far too long. I think this might be the first time I've ever fast-forwarded THROUGH the nude scenes and not TO them.

But to me, this represents a climb in the spoofing quality, which is not matched in the nudity quality, a trend that lends credibility to the possibility that these guys might one day be putting real spoofs in theaters and saving us from the ridiculous messes that we've been suffering through so far. Although if they are interested in that, I would suggest more clever lampooning and less penis-copters, but wouldn't that be losing most of the fun?
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