Halloween II (2009)
Strike Two....Put a Stick in It
28 August 2009
Halloween II (2009)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Sequel to Zombie's 2007 remake starts off shortly after the events in that film as Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton) has a hard time getting over the fact that all of her friends are dead. She doesn't have too long to sit around as brother Michael Myers is back, killing and slaughtering by the orders of the ghost of his mother (Sheri Moon Zombie) but Dr. Loomis (Malcolm McDowell) is back as well to try and make up for a damning book he wrote on the earlier events. There's no secret that I didn't care for anything in Zombie's remake and this film here proves that he needs to quit writing screenplays. I think this film, as well as his previous ones, have shown that he can handle the director's chair but as far as writing goes he's starting to become very boring as he doesn't know how to write a story, characters or dialogue. What does someone do when they get scared? Say the "F" word countless times. What does someone do when they're having fun? Say the "F" word countless times. What does someone do when they're sad? Why, of course, say the "F" word countless times. Zombie's screenplays come off like they're written by little children because he can't write dialogue that has anything more than cuss words being thrown around. It's hard to find a single line that doesn't feature some fifth-grade level cussing. Not only that but other logical problems come up like how Michael is able to be deep in the woods on scene but then back in town the next only to appear back in the woods for the next scene. How on Earth does Loomis see the end events on television and yet a second later he's right there? Not to mention a stupid flashback scene where we learn that Michael is going to be seeing his mother's ghost throughout the rest of the movie, which basically is just a stupid way for Zombie to give his wife a part. Even if you take away all the dumb logic you are then treated to countless, graphic and at time vile violence. It's clear Zombie believes that no one should be given pity because even characters we care for get slaughtered. Bad characters die brutal deaths just like the nice people. Taylor-Compton isn't too bad in her role even though it's not written too well. McDowell is one hand to cash a paycheck but Zombie's screenplay mostly has him doing talk shows including one with Weird Al. Brad Dourif comes off the best as Sheriff Brackett and Danielle Harris also gets to come back. As with the first film, this one here features cameos by various people including Caroline Williams (TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2). Now, I would probably say this movie is better than the first due to some nice sequences including one early on where Zombie has a nice scene where a nurse is about to be stabbed but before getting it, we see a close up of her face as it prepares for the blow. This was an effective scene as was one a few minutes later when Laurie is trapped inside a small shack with Myers trying to break through. Once again Zombie's vision is perfectly clear and he moves the film along just fine but with a screenplay so bad there's really no winning in the end. It's clear Zombie has a very good movie in his but it's not going to happen when the only thing he can write is dialogue for white trash, which appears to be the only thing he knows.
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