6/10
Talk about a bizarre premise...
11 September 2009
Warning: Spoilers
This is a rather dumb but enjoyable melange of genres. I don't know who thought to do this, but Hammer Films of the UK (known for Dracula and Frankenstein films) did a joint production with Shaw Brothers Films of Hong Kong (known for their martial arts films)! How and why this occurred is something that IMDb and the DVD for this film never explain--and I'd sure love to know more. Seeing Peter Cushing in such a Chinese film is pretty odd. One thing IMDb did say was that Christopher Lee apparently read the script and refused to play in the film. This make little sense, as he DID agree to be in THE SATANIC RITES OF Dracula the year before--and this probably is one of worst horror films Hammer ever made! Perhaps he didn't want to hang out in Asia to make the film or perhaps he was still to embarrassed over TSROD to do yet another vampire film! While I can admit that this WAS a pretty silly movie, it had plenty of cool Shaw Brothers element--enough to breathe some energy into the moribund franchise--strange as the movie was!

The film begins with a Chinese vampire priest meeting Dracula and imploring him to return with him to China. Well, Drac isn't all that hospitable and kills the guy, then assumes his form and goes to China. Shouldn't he have just said "yes" and gone with the priest--as good minions are hard to come by (what a waste).

In the next scene, Van Helsing (once again, Peter Cushing) is lecturing to a group of Chinese scholars who think he's some kind of nut (imagine that)! But, one of those in attendance is a man from a village where they've had seven evil vampires terrorizing them for centuries. One of the seven was already dead--killed by this man's grandfather, but his place was taken by Dracula. He begs Van Helsing to accompany him to this rural town to rid them for good of the vampire scourge.

Oddly, these Chinese vampires aren't quite like the usual Hammer variety. First, the makeup on them is pretty cheesy and their faces look like a combination of papier-mache and vomit. Second, the vampires ain't so tough--needing to use swords and other weapons to fight. I've never seen Dracula and the like in other films resort to such tactics, as they are too bad to need any weapon! Third, they way they can die is much different--they're a lot easier to kill. So much so that I wonder why they'd want outside help! This representative of the town has brought seven of his own assistants (including, for Chinese martial arts, the required lady kung fu expert) to escort Van Helsing and his son to the town for the final showdown.

A sexy Norwegian (Ms. Ege) is brought along to inject some more sex into the mix. She really is pretty irrelevant to the film and blathers about being emancipated (an odd anachronism but typical movie cliché), but seems to be there to show off bosom and cower in fear (so much for feminism). And, speaking of bosoms, since this was a 1970s Hammer horror film, you will also have a smattering of other topless ladies in the film--something the studio did in several of their later films to boost ratings. The only good thing about her was towards the end--this final scene with her was great.

Along with Ege, the character of Van Helsing's son is in the film. He's in his 20s and knows NOTHING of kung fu or any martial art--yet he somehow, magically, is able to fend off attack after attack by the minions of the seven vampires. He really isn't all that necessary to the film either--especially since his fighting skills are dubious. He's also pretty dumb, as he rushes into the vampire lair late in the film and doesn't even bother to bring along some stakes or a sword or even a slingshot!

And this is the perfect segue into what's best about the film--the fighting. While this is not the best of the Shaw Brothers' films for this, it certainly is very good. The seven good guy fighters from the village are impressive as they fight the relatively wimpy vampires and their undead servants. In fact, they are so impressive you wondered why they traveled so far to see Van Helsing! In fact, the vampires seem a lot less tough than many of the Shaw Brother villains! I think the blind guy from MASTER OF THE FLYING GUILLOTINE was easily tough enough to kick the vampires' butts all by himself! Heck, the same can be said for any of the One-Armed Swordsmen! Wimpy old Chinese vampires aren't as much fun as Western ones--especially the loser three who were in the first "boss battle"!

Overall, while the film is far from perfect (often not making much sense), it is very high on the cool factor and is worth a look--particularly if you love horror AND martial arts films like I do.
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