Blue Flame (1993)
2/10
Er.. what?
23 October 2009
If you like to be confused, this is the film for you. A guy's daughter gets abducted by an alien, ages a decade and a half in 4 years, and tries to seduce dear old dad on a bed in his dreams. He will later have a computer disc inserted in his head by an blonde android with big tits, all the while being menaced by said alien who is a Russell Brand lookalike with a vaguely Irish accent. This extra-terrestial wants to marry the dude's now grown up little girl, but this would entail killing her so that he can absorb her memories in his head. This is his idea of blessed nuptials. Ain't love grand?!

As a lot of the film takes place in the main character's brain there are scene changes a-plenty and more costumes than you'd find in Elton John's wardrobe. Not forgetting the very dubious futuristic sets.. which consist of sparse streets with a few bits of rubbish blowing about. We get reams of dialogue about the plot that makes less sense the more they try and explain it, and lots of long, thin guns which are only used surreptitiously but are on display in nearly every scene. Is it just me who sees a metaphor here? I think the director has issues here, apart from a penchant for making lousy sci-fi movies. Seek help, mate.

Got to give some kudos to the guy though (but not much), he sure has a labyrinthine film here made with what is no doubt a very um, interesting imagination. Only problem is it is virtually impossible to watch, and it isn't worth the effort to decipher the story either. In short, it's just total hogwash and has FAIL written all over it. He should have bought himself a pack of Hubba Bubba with the budget instead (if it could have covered it). It would have lasted longer, and left more of a lasting flavour. And probably wouldn't have sucked as hard. 2/10
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