Paul's Native American friend, Prof. Johnny "Longbow" Salinas introduces him to Kathy, a dirty dishwater blond with legs for days who also happens to wear outfits that end just below her pubis bone. Lucky for him that she's also fairly easy as he steals her away to his private getaway spot to watch the moonrock shower caused by a lunar collision. Don't know how many times I used that excuse before. Sadly all fun and games come to an end when Paul is grazed by a piece of the space debris that for some inexplicable reason turns him into a lizardman. Wouldn't a moonrock monster make more sense? Whatever. When Paul morphs into the lizard he becomes a killing machine with a penchant for drunk bowlers and male campers. When the local police Captain McCabe becomes stumped at one of the monster's crime scenes who does he call first? Why the local anthropologist of course! Johnny Longbow becomes the only competent person who can help his stupid paleface friend as the local Indian legend tells a similar story which ends with the lizardman exploding. Can he get to Paul in time? Is McCabe capable of anything besides tucking his hands into his belt? How much would I pay to have Kathy's legs wrapped around me?
Maybe I've become a little hardened in my years of Z-grade movie watching but Track of the Moonbeast is nowhere near as bad of a film as it's ranked on this site. Worse than Troll 2? War of the Robots? The Executioner part II? Come on people! Just because it was on "Mystery Science Theater" doesn't automatically make it one of the worst of all time. There are plenty of bad films out there that hardly anybody knows about if you just take the time to find them. Besides, Kathy's gorgeous legs are at least worth a star apiece. Yes, both Paul and Kathy turn in graceless performances as each "actor" constantly...pauses...between...sentences but this is a monster movie not "A Streetcar Named Desire". Johnny Longbow does a credible job as the conflicted professor as his character really becomes the focus of the movie after Paul's transformation. The monster by the way is fairly adequate as it was one of Rick Baker's earliest works. Compare this lizard outfit to the one used in "Metamorphosis" which was made fifteen years later and you'll see what I mean. Not the howler I thought it would be which, for once, was a pleasant surprise. Kinda like Kathy's outfits.
Maybe I've become a little hardened in my years of Z-grade movie watching but Track of the Moonbeast is nowhere near as bad of a film as it's ranked on this site. Worse than Troll 2? War of the Robots? The Executioner part II? Come on people! Just because it was on "Mystery Science Theater" doesn't automatically make it one of the worst of all time. There are plenty of bad films out there that hardly anybody knows about if you just take the time to find them. Besides, Kathy's gorgeous legs are at least worth a star apiece. Yes, both Paul and Kathy turn in graceless performances as each "actor" constantly...pauses...between...sentences but this is a monster movie not "A Streetcar Named Desire". Johnny Longbow does a credible job as the conflicted professor as his character really becomes the focus of the movie after Paul's transformation. The monster by the way is fairly adequate as it was one of Rick Baker's earliest works. Compare this lizard outfit to the one used in "Metamorphosis" which was made fifteen years later and you'll see what I mean. Not the howler I thought it would be which, for once, was a pleasant surprise. Kinda like Kathy's outfits.