Review of Bitten

Bitten (2008 Video)
4/10
No Teeth...
1 April 2010
Jack (Jason Mewes) is a paramedic working the night shift who is depressed by his lack of girl-meeting opportunities after being dumped by his girlfriend. He spends most of his time complaining about his lot to his older workmate (Richard Fitzpatrick - who looks a lot like Rod Steiger here) who is worryingly obsessed with all things anal, until he discovers one hot - but blood-splattered - chick (Erica Cox) lying in the rubbish outside his apartment. Jack takes her to his apartment to tend her wounds and an intimacy grows between them even as Jack begins to have doubts about her nocturnal habits…

I can't recall seeing many vampire films that focus on the effect of a newly-acquired status as a vampire on the romantic relationship of the person afflicted and their loved one, so I suppose this cheap direct-to-video horror is to be applauded on that count. Sadly, the subject is handled in such a dull, repetitive manner that there's little else to recommend it.

The film's lack of budget is obvious from the murky lighting - even Jack's apartment is in perpetual darkness - and the negligible number of locations, but a small budget has never been a drawback to a talented, creative director. In fact, it can very often serve as a source of inspiration simply because the lack of money calls upon a certain amount of ingenuity and creativity on the parts of the writer and director. Unfortunately, neither party are capable of rising to the challenge with any authority, even though the film starts off quite promisingly with some telling moments in the interplay between Jack and his older colleague (before, that is, the anal references become boringly frequent). Ironically, it's when Danika, the sultry, recently-turned vampiress appears on the scene that the plot becomes mired in the repetitive doldrums from which it never recovers. By the final reel, the script has deteriorated to the point where Jack and Roger (Fitzpatrick) are shouting every line to each other, and inserting an expletive in every sentence in a futile attempt to inject some excitement into the lacklustre proceedings..
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