Review of Jaws 3-D

Jaws 3-D (1983)
4/10
It could have worked, but DOES NOT
29 June 2010
I'm certain if you read the screenplay for this third entry in the Jaws franchise you'd think it could amount to a solid sequel. There's nothing fundamentally wrong with the idea, it at least adds many new elements to the Jaws formula. Where it all goes wrong is in the execution. The acting, direction, and production values are way, way below what they should have been. The 3-D effects are ridiculous. They bring to mind a SCTV parody of 3-D films, with exaggerated tricks that add nothing to someone watching this in regular format. Compare this to something like The Creature From The Black Lagoon, or It Came From Outer Space- those films were 3-D but play perfectly well as flat films. But those were made by people with talent, this film is not.

There's also the weird idea of using the Sea World park, but making it a fictitious one located near the ocean with completely different attractions- it's a strange bit of promotional advertising. The real Sea World is quite different, and yet it's shown with all these fantastic elements that are pure fantasy. A better idea would have been to name the marine attraction something original. The scenes somehow come off way more corny and trite than the actual theme park was at the time. The use of the dolphins is a great idea that is staged horribly. The old Flipper show had better shark vs. dolphin scenes.

The effects are wretched. In fact, had they worked it would have helped save the whole film from being a waste, but they are totally amateurish, below that of a Roger Corman exploitation film from the 50s or 60s. One expects more from a major studio mounting a sequel to a mega-hit.

The actors offer nothing here. Dennis Quaid and Louis Gosset have shown remarkable talent, but none of it is on display here. Bess Armstrong and Lea Thompson are both very attractive, but again they don't really add anything, and Thompson seems especially vapid here. Luckily all these actors are in a film so filled with incompetence that the music, effects, editing and overall storytelling distract from their work.
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