Review of Nocturna

Nocturna (1979)
Pretty hard to totally dislike
1 July 2010
This is one of two films released in 1979 that attempted to combine vampires and disco (the other being the German sex comedy "Dracula Blows his Cool"). I actually don't know why there weren't even more films than this since disco and vampires have a lot in common (i.e. they both suck). This one was produced by and stars Nai Bonet, who made quite an impression belly-dancing naked while rubbing oil all over herself in Charles Band's sexpoitation/musical "Fairy Tales". Bonet was kind of more voluptuous version of 70's sex star Laura Gemser, but she really made the latter look like Meryl Streep when it came to acting. (To be fair though Bonet is acting here in what is obviously her second language while Gemser had the advantage of being dubbed). Once again, Bonet has some nice nude scenes in this movie, but I would strongly recommend turning the sound down during them because the music is SO bad it might end up like the "Clockwork Orange" Ludvico technique where ever afterward the sight of beautiful naked women will remind you of this music and make you violently ill.

Then there's the disco dancing. There's WAY too much of that here. There's also very little blood and gore, and the special effects are so bad they pass good several times before finally alighting back on bad. Oh yeah, then there's the "plot". Bonet plays Nocturna, an ancient bloodsucker and "grandaughter of Dracula", who comes to New York City from Transylvania, falls in love with a mortal man, and loses the urge to kill (which is odd because the blonde male douchebag playing her boyfriend greatly INCREASED my urge to kill).

The real saving grace of this movie though is the supporting cast. John Carradine doesn't give one his better performances as Nocturna's grandfather (aka Dracula), but he certainly doesn't embarrass himself either like he did in "Vampire Hookers" that same year. And speaking of vampire hookers, Sy Richardson has pretty good cameo as a vampire pimp whose stable of sexy vampire hookers serve him the blood of their johns in wine glasses. Yvonne DeCarlo has a rather pointless role as an older female vampire who give Nocturna tips on surviving in the big city, but she's not bad. The best by far though is Brother Theodore who plays Nocturna's manservant, who is madly in lust with his mistress. His inimitable scenery-chewing monolgues are definitely the closest this movie comes to genuine hilarity. This is certainly not good, but it's pretty hard to totally dislike.
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