Good grief! I don't even know where to start on this. ZOMBIECHRIST has to be one of... no, strike the "one of" - this was the absolute worse movie I have ever seen and believe me when I say I've seen a lot of poor efforts over the years. There was no continuity, no logical flow of time, no reason for what occurred in the film to occur. The camera work was jerky and utterly amateurish, the acting (pardon me I should have written "acting" because there really wasn't any) was cringe-worthy at best. It looked as if not a single person in the cast had ever been in front of a camera before. There was a great deal of way whacked-out parallels drawn between early stories of Christianity and those of Rome, Greece and Paganism which didn't make any sense whatsoever (unless you might be under the influence of some controlled substance far stronger than alcohol.) I will give Bill Zebub (yeah, that's the credited name - whatta laugh) points for getting a great deal of fairly attractive women to be naked for pretty much the entire film - even if they all did look like (a) hookers or (b) exotic dancers. All these women had some sort of tattoos on them. Not little cute ones, either. These were huge honking things which covered fairly substantial portions of their anatomy. And speaking of anatomy, the wholly gratuitous nudity was... more like a biology lesson than a movie with unnecessarily long and lingering shots of their breasts or crotches for no better reason than the cameraman *could* film this stuff. This was almost, but not quite, pornographic in detail... this film is definitely very close to X rated for that fact alone. Now, I'm not against seeing a pretty girl naked but I was actually bored after a very short time with seeing yet another naked girl run through the woods or writhe around on the floor while some truly lame CGI (or something) fire (or something) swirled around them. Which brings me to the Zombiechrist character it(him?)self. Feh! Stupid. Poorly done at best. From the looks of it, Zebub took a medical school skeleton, covered it in dirty newspaper and red paint and operated it with one hand while working the camera with the other.
Finally - the music. The film was heavily padded with quite a number of death metal tracks played in their entirety while the camera showed someone running through the forest (as often as not, naked). These sequences did not a darn thing to move the story forward - mainly because there really wasn't a story TO move forward. (Even so, I clicked the "spoiler" box more or less as a joke). For all intents and purposes, the film looked like an over-long death metal video made by a couple of crack heads with a few bucks and a camera.
Recommended? No, unless you've never seen a naked woman before.
Scary? NO
Quotable lines? NONE
Anything to redeem this piece of scut from the bottom 10,000 worse films ever made? Yes, if only to show in a film school class as a prime example of how not to make a movie. Otherwise, NO
I rate it 6/100.
Finally - the music. The film was heavily padded with quite a number of death metal tracks played in their entirety while the camera showed someone running through the forest (as often as not, naked). These sequences did not a darn thing to move the story forward - mainly because there really wasn't a story TO move forward. (Even so, I clicked the "spoiler" box more or less as a joke). For all intents and purposes, the film looked like an over-long death metal video made by a couple of crack heads with a few bucks and a camera.
Recommended? No, unless you've never seen a naked woman before.
Scary? NO
Quotable lines? NONE
Anything to redeem this piece of scut from the bottom 10,000 worse films ever made? Yes, if only to show in a film school class as a prime example of how not to make a movie. Otherwise, NO
I rate it 6/100.