If it wasn't for the fact that I was watching this dumpsterpiece movie with four friends, I would be bashing my head against something hard, and questioning the very usefulness of my life. In other words, yes, this movie was THAT bad. I've heard that Birdemic was supposed to be a very bad, very cheap rip off of Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds, but Lord almighty! Fifteen minutes into it I was starting to panic.
Rod (Alan Bagh), is a Silicon Valley software designer yuppie who has just made it big. Not to mention he always walks like he wears a back brace. He's about to land a deal that will make him a millionaire, because this movie certainly won't do that. Also, he drives my dream car (a Ford Mustang), and always drives about 20 mph below the speed limit. Have some respect, dude. But anyway, Rod goes into a diner and meets Natalie (Whitney Moore) by first asking "didn't you go to high school with me?" Natalie is also a very hot blonde aspiring model, who just happens to give her phone number to a guy like Rod, whom she barely knows. That's basically the first half of the movie, a romance blossoming. On top of that, there are stories about the ice caps melting, and swarms of eagles dying. Uh oh, does this mean Al Gore was right? One night, Rod and Natalie go to a cheap motel to have loving, but emotionless sex. All of a sudden, swarms of eagles are going around, swarming people, killing people, and blowing up houses by ramming into them like kamikaze pilots. Now, it's up to this young couple to try to find survivors, and kill birds. Soon along the way, we meet Dr. Jones (Rick Camp), who tells us that we screwed up this planet, created global warming, and now birds are killing everybody.
So .where to begin with this movie? First off, it has probably the worst acting I have ever seen in a movie that's not a porno. I would say the acting was as wooden as Pinocchio, but Pinocchio actually DOES become a real boy at the end. There was no hope for this movie at all. I saw this being sold on blu ray for $25. I don't even think this movie cost 25 cents to make! Just watch the trailer, you'll know exactly what I mean. Everything about this movie sucked. The script was so badly written, it was almost a tragicomedy. At least Hitchcock's The Birds had robotic birds. Okay, the CGI buzzards that were attacking people, I think the editing machines in a public access TV studio are more sophisticated. Plus, there were a lot of underlying themes about global warming here. If these environmentalist screenwriters wanted to convince me to stop contributing to greenhouse gasses, they're going to have to do better that Birdemic. I seriously hope the filmmakers weren't taking this too seriously, because it's such a joke.
I love B rate movies, and I like playing "Mystery Science Theater 3000″ with them. But this movie made Ed Wood look like Orson Welles. Some of these lines are so awful: "Humans need to stop playing cowboys with nature." When people were attacked by birds, they were more or less being attack by a Windows 3.1 screensaver. I would have made a better movie when I was in middle school. What else do I have to say? Just go online and watch the trailer, that will visualize everything. I'm all for cheap filmmaking, but this is just pushing it.
I leave you with this thought. I mentioned earlier that I was watching this colostomy bag of a movie with four friends, where we made sarcastic remarks. My thought is maybe this is why bad movies are made, why Birdemic was made–to bring in more social gatherings.
Rod (Alan Bagh), is a Silicon Valley software designer yuppie who has just made it big. Not to mention he always walks like he wears a back brace. He's about to land a deal that will make him a millionaire, because this movie certainly won't do that. Also, he drives my dream car (a Ford Mustang), and always drives about 20 mph below the speed limit. Have some respect, dude. But anyway, Rod goes into a diner and meets Natalie (Whitney Moore) by first asking "didn't you go to high school with me?" Natalie is also a very hot blonde aspiring model, who just happens to give her phone number to a guy like Rod, whom she barely knows. That's basically the first half of the movie, a romance blossoming. On top of that, there are stories about the ice caps melting, and swarms of eagles dying. Uh oh, does this mean Al Gore was right? One night, Rod and Natalie go to a cheap motel to have loving, but emotionless sex. All of a sudden, swarms of eagles are going around, swarming people, killing people, and blowing up houses by ramming into them like kamikaze pilots. Now, it's up to this young couple to try to find survivors, and kill birds. Soon along the way, we meet Dr. Jones (Rick Camp), who tells us that we screwed up this planet, created global warming, and now birds are killing everybody.
So .where to begin with this movie? First off, it has probably the worst acting I have ever seen in a movie that's not a porno. I would say the acting was as wooden as Pinocchio, but Pinocchio actually DOES become a real boy at the end. There was no hope for this movie at all. I saw this being sold on blu ray for $25. I don't even think this movie cost 25 cents to make! Just watch the trailer, you'll know exactly what I mean. Everything about this movie sucked. The script was so badly written, it was almost a tragicomedy. At least Hitchcock's The Birds had robotic birds. Okay, the CGI buzzards that were attacking people, I think the editing machines in a public access TV studio are more sophisticated. Plus, there were a lot of underlying themes about global warming here. If these environmentalist screenwriters wanted to convince me to stop contributing to greenhouse gasses, they're going to have to do better that Birdemic. I seriously hope the filmmakers weren't taking this too seriously, because it's such a joke.
I love B rate movies, and I like playing "Mystery Science Theater 3000″ with them. But this movie made Ed Wood look like Orson Welles. Some of these lines are so awful: "Humans need to stop playing cowboys with nature." When people were attacked by birds, they were more or less being attack by a Windows 3.1 screensaver. I would have made a better movie when I was in middle school. What else do I have to say? Just go online and watch the trailer, that will visualize everything. I'm all for cheap filmmaking, but this is just pushing it.
I leave you with this thought. I mentioned earlier that I was watching this colostomy bag of a movie with four friends, where we made sarcastic remarks. My thought is maybe this is why bad movies are made, why Birdemic was made–to bring in more social gatherings.