I return again to the special plane of suffering known as made for TV Christmas movies. In this place, you will find alcoholics, children who talk like creepy adults, homely love interests, and D-List celebrities. In this particular movie, JD's brother from Scrubs is Nick Snowden, an Ersatz Santa Claus. The homely love interest is Sandy, a maladjusted zoo employee in California.
Whoo boy. This one really takes the bad storytelling cake. Picture if you will, a world where a professional hunter can not only capture a wild reindeer instead of transporting the deer requested from a farm by the zoo with dodgy paperwork with no repercussions, but can also harass, stalk and in many other ways be a complete creepy lunatic and no one calls the police or so much as pushes him away. Picture a world where a woman can display a regular fondness for Christmas but become an inexplicable angry wench when someone takes Christmas decorations that she has stored in the attic and put them on display in her lawn and around the boarding house she resides in for no good reason (my family really loved Christmas and they died is not a good reason.). A world where a spinster rejects the compliments and advances of a charming single man and treats him like a stalker for daring to compliment her. Picture a world where the mythical North Pole is simultaneously not of this world and very literally part of this world. Imagine in you can, a child who actively hits on a 30-something woman. Are you bothered yet? The people responsible for this movie want you to find this all whimsical and good holiday fun.
This movie is so aggressively stupid that I started to believe it had achieved awareness and malevolence and was actively trying to hurt me because I knew things and kept trying to insist logic and sense should exist within its framework, but my protests were drowned in a sea of poorly timed slapstick, awkward romantic tension, and forced drama. I knew that I had begun my descent into madness anew when the hunter contacted a poaching hobbyist so that he could sell him the rights to shoot a flying reindeer rather than reveal the animal's nature to the world at large and sell it to research or charge circuses to showcase it, or literally ANY other thing you can do with a flying reindeer that you have caged for ready transport and the money and means to do said transporting. No, forget that. I knew where I was when Ugly Mcvacantsmile got all ticked off about the Christmas decorations. Also the CG in this movie is completely laughable and the soundtrack hurt my sanity points directly with no saving throw.
Whoo boy. This one really takes the bad storytelling cake. Picture if you will, a world where a professional hunter can not only capture a wild reindeer instead of transporting the deer requested from a farm by the zoo with dodgy paperwork with no repercussions, but can also harass, stalk and in many other ways be a complete creepy lunatic and no one calls the police or so much as pushes him away. Picture a world where a woman can display a regular fondness for Christmas but become an inexplicable angry wench when someone takes Christmas decorations that she has stored in the attic and put them on display in her lawn and around the boarding house she resides in for no good reason (my family really loved Christmas and they died is not a good reason.). A world where a spinster rejects the compliments and advances of a charming single man and treats him like a stalker for daring to compliment her. Picture a world where the mythical North Pole is simultaneously not of this world and very literally part of this world. Imagine in you can, a child who actively hits on a 30-something woman. Are you bothered yet? The people responsible for this movie want you to find this all whimsical and good holiday fun.
This movie is so aggressively stupid that I started to believe it had achieved awareness and malevolence and was actively trying to hurt me because I knew things and kept trying to insist logic and sense should exist within its framework, but my protests were drowned in a sea of poorly timed slapstick, awkward romantic tension, and forced drama. I knew that I had begun my descent into madness anew when the hunter contacted a poaching hobbyist so that he could sell him the rights to shoot a flying reindeer rather than reveal the animal's nature to the world at large and sell it to research or charge circuses to showcase it, or literally ANY other thing you can do with a flying reindeer that you have caged for ready transport and the money and means to do said transporting. No, forget that. I knew where I was when Ugly Mcvacantsmile got all ticked off about the Christmas decorations. Also the CG in this movie is completely laughable and the soundtrack hurt my sanity points directly with no saving throw.