3/10
Nuclear War Station of the Damned or Little Cave of Horrors?
21 December 2012
Warning: Spoilers
If you instantly think of the 1961 cult classic "Village of the Damned" and its 1964 follow-up, "Children of the Damned", then you are not alone. This is definitely a C-grade variety of that plot with a bit of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" thrown in. A whoosh through the sky gets the attention of a child whose parents are arriving at a nuclear plant where a missile is ready for testing. The parents do not see this strand of something moving through the air, so when the boy disappears to go exploring in beach-front caves, he encounters a strange group of children and a little tiny blob of something that somehow gives them directions to sabotage the launching of this missile. A sign from God? Visitors from outer space? Hopefully not that creepy flem-like blob from a recent Steve McQueen movie that swallows its victims whole and has that ghoulish song about that thing that creeps and glides across the floor.

It all unravels in 69 minutes, thankfully enough time to eat a bag of popcorn and laugh at the silly adults who are at first unaware of how the children are acting different all the time. A father chases his son over rocks, repeating over and over how he's going to break his neck when he finds them then literally becomes a frozen pop-circle when he sees the blob. Scientists wonder how the children break into the locked military base, then simply tell them to "scat!" without further investigation. And when the blob, which has gotten bigger, starts batting a single eye, don't be drinking your soda, 'cause you'll douse your TV screen with another sticky substance as you accidentally spit it out in laughter.

I know the writers of this movie probably meant well in the nuclear era of the late 50's, but the unintentional humor takes this film all over the place. Throw in such TV sitcom actors as Russell Johnson, Jackie Coogan and a toupee-less Raymond Bailey, and you'll find yourself snickering. When Bailey (Mr. Drysdale of "The Beverly Hillbillies") confronts the eye-batting blob and pleads to be let in on the secret, this film hits its nadir. No fan of "The Addams Family" will take Coogan (Uncle Fester) seriously as he disciplines a child. A biblical quote at the end tries to explain it all but just adds to the ridiculousness of it all.
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