Transsiberian (2008)
1/10
Completely Unrelatable
8 July 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I'm a writer so maybe I think more about these things than certain other people... BUT SERIOUSLY - if you go to poor Siberian territory and 1) Don't learn the language 2) Shout "I'm American" every 5 seconds 3) Take pictures every five seconds with your GIANT camera 4) Let strangers into your room when your alone 5) Leave said strangers with your stuff 6) Go 4 miles off any main roads ALONE with random strangers 7) INITIATE a kiss and say "I used to love a pointless f***" 8) When, after initiating, he wants to have sex with you, beat him senseless. 9)After you beat him senseless, he is powerless and bleeding and for no reason at all decide to hit him really hard in the head with a 2x4 an extra 3 or 4 times.

THEN YES, bad stuff will happen to you. I'm absolutely shocked the woman who committed the above 9 deadly sins (any combination of 2 could get your stuff stolen or yourself killed) has the gumption to consider herself a pawn of the situation. If you love watching disturbingly stupid people get away with murder then this movie is absolutely for you! Go ahead, watch and enjoy.
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