I got up at 2am on my last day in San Francisco before flying back to London, and decided to use my Netflix for the last time on a movie that I heard was pretty bad. Don't Go into the Woods is not 'pretty bad', it's an abomination on cinema.
There is literally NOTHING good about this movie. Nothing. The acting is wooden to the point of static; the script is cringe-worthy; "I dunno, dude, sometimes you just have to light a fire and pray to the songwriting gods."; the characters are all whiny indie w***ers; the location is uninspiring and clichéd; character motivations are ridiculous at all times; they bring up the fact there is a blind guy in the band in almost every scene in which he appears; the gore is rubbish; it's not a horror movie, it's an impotent musical; the direction is clearly crap because what Vincent D'Onofrio has managed to get from his actors is utterly awful. Also, if you wanted to get the most out of your band, why would you start killing them? ARGH, what a terrible, terrible movie.
There is literally NOTHING good about this movie. Nothing. The acting is wooden to the point of static; the script is cringe-worthy; "I dunno, dude, sometimes you just have to light a fire and pray to the songwriting gods."; the characters are all whiny indie w***ers; the location is uninspiring and clichéd; character motivations are ridiculous at all times; they bring up the fact there is a blind guy in the band in almost every scene in which he appears; the gore is rubbish; it's not a horror movie, it's an impotent musical; the direction is clearly crap because what Vincent D'Onofrio has managed to get from his actors is utterly awful. Also, if you wanted to get the most out of your band, why would you start killing them? ARGH, what a terrible, terrible movie.