Skinheads (1989)
4/10
Baldy!!
12 October 2013
If the so-called Master Race are this stupid, we would be all better off as cavemen.

Take all the Nazi stereotypes you can think of, and you'll find them here... including some you didn't. What they tell didn't tell in history class though, is that these guys were as thick as pig s**t, and as ugly as sin. Rather than being menacing though, these idiots are most likely to cause the Jews and Blacks they rail against to die of laughter than cause them any physical harm. Particularly the big guy, ironically called Brains... who wipes his bum on poison ivy instead of leaves. Hardy ha ha. Seriously, if Hitler wanted to clean the Whites of all impurities, he would have started with executing these jokers.

This makes it easy to cheer for the college kid and his spunky girlfriend, as they're pursued through the woods by this band of miscreants. They garner support from a grizzled old hunter (there always seems to be one about) when they find his hut, and what follows is a series of shootouts, threats and general idiocy. What's strange though, is how the bad guys never run out of bullets. They find a hand gun right at the start (with no extra ammunition) and yet they seemingly discharge it on more than 100 occasions throughout. We never see them reload it, or check for empties. It must be MAGIC.

Apart from having the worse editing ever, and the dreadful acting from all concerned, what is most noteworthy here is just what a bad mouthpiece it is for the far right. None of the arguments preached by the leader of these fanatics are coherent at all, which makes you wonder... how did he convince 6 other people to join his worthless cause? You'd think the writers would have him some kind of gravitas, but nope... the bloke is a walking parody, and impossible to take seriously. This may work as a sop to minority groups who hate the Nazis, but it renders the enemy so pathetic it's impossible to feel any tension as they stalk their prey.

So, I'm sure you've gathered by now it ain't no award winner. It won't you jump off a pier, though. Especially if you find a certain charm in low budget movie-making. Damn it... they try their best... can't we give them at least SOME credit?

Perhaps a little.

We're talking microscopic proportions here.

Do you see it?

Thought not. 4/10
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