Stork Theory
29 November 2013
Warning: Spoilers
"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich." - Napoleon

"The Christmas Candle" is a ridiculous film produced by the equally ridiculous Rick Santorum. A Republican politician, ultra right-wing Christian and unashamed free-market fundamentalist, Santorum's the kind of guy who, a couple hundred years ago, would have been busy at work killing humanity's greatest minds, all in the name of Yaweh.

Designed for middle class Christians who think Jesus' mother was Ayn Rand, "The Christmas Candle" stars Hans Matheson as a preacher who's undergoing a severe religious crisis. With his wife dead, Matheson finds his faith wavering. Worse still, he finds himself sceptical of miracles, especially those involving candles and angels. The film climaxes with Matheson's belief in Christ restored, an angelic candle re-igniting his faith. This message, of course, goes against most Christian sects, which explicitly state that salvation requires only faith in God, not works, actions or the witnessing of miracles. The modern concept of Christian faith itself evolved precisely because of Nature's utter indifference. This indifference is the unacknowledged bedrock of Christian faith; resorting to miraculous proof negates the need for such faith entirely.

"Candle" contains an odd subplot about electricity. Here our hero, a man of science, electric bulbs and copper wire, learns to appreciate the holy flicker of the lowly candle. Some have read this as a jab at science and technology, but such a reading doesn't seem intended, despite religion's notorious hatred of all things science. Indeed, religions persecuted many of the scientists responsible for breakthroughs in the study of electricity. As late as the 1950s, scientists were being persecuted and even chemically castrated (Alan Turing). To the chagrin of the world's Santorums, even folk like Thomas Edison, a light bulb pioneer who declared "all religion" to be "thoroughly bunk", was an anti-capitalist who wrote that "all interest" is akin to an "invention of Satan".

Whilst promoting "Candle", Santorum - a warmonger who believes that "America has no classes" and that "class rhetoric is a Marxist conspiracy" - ranted about Hollywood being a "devil's playground". He then condemned Hollywood for being "infected by liberals" who want to "corrupt our families and children". To counter this "infestation" Santorum has apparently taken up film producing. Ironically, most major film studios have ties with or are subsidiaries of major weapons and arms manufacturers. Indeed, even the Church of England has millions invested in weapons manufacturers (General Atomics, BAE, Ainetiq, GE etc), some of which are currently responsible for Predator and Reaper drones. The kind of nonsensical "conspiracy" that Santorum believes in stretches all the way back to 1932, when Pope Pius XI advised Europe and the United States to work with Hitler and Mussolini in a coalition to stop "cultural Marxism" ("Kulturbolschewismus") because "liberals" and "communist Jews" were challenging power and monarchs. Christian values - beautiful and even vital - have never been with the world's Popes or Santorums. Historically, they tend to be with those squashed under their boots.

4/10 - Worth no viewing.
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