Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda (2014 TV Movie)
2/10
The return of Sharktopus with double the stupidity and none of the fun
30 August 2014
Sharktopus was not a great, or even good, movie but it was reasonably fun to watch. The photography is pretty decent, Katie Savoy is a winning presence and the scenery is lovely, other than that Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda fails on all levels and is far too inept to pass for a fun B-movie. The special effects are very cartoonish and look so fake against the background, while the Sharktopus is goofy-looking the Pteracuda fares worse, the dinosaur skeletons in the Natural History Museum's dinosaur exhibition are far more convincing. Neither of them show any personality or menace whatsoever(not unexpected, there's already a long line of personality-less SyFy creatures) other than repeatedly attacking people and each other, only when the Pteracuda slaps Sharktopus do we see any glimmer of a personality, and if Sharktopus was meant to be smart that trait is literally non-existent. The attacks are far too gimmicky, are too predictable to be tense and too cheesy to be fun. The dialogue is so inane it makes the toes curl, anything the American tourist couple say is particularly embarrassing, and the story even for a movie that shouldn't be taken seriously is ridiculousness taken to extremes at the sacrifice of suspense, and because it doesn't do anything with the already over-familiar concept it is extremely predictable as well. The ending felt anti-climatic and abrupt and because things and themes are barely developed and what should make a creature feature work being absent the pacing quickly loses steam and the movie loses interest long before it finishes. The characters are personality-and-development-free, Ham being especially bland. Other than Savoy the acting doesn't work. Robert Carradine's performance consists of either chewing the scenery or being indifferent, on paper it was ideal for him but the performance itself is all over the place. Rib Hillis is disadvantaged by his character being so bland and he sleepwalks his way through his performance, while Conan O'Brien's cameo was just bizarre and felt really tacked on. But the worst acting came from the American tourist couple, their parts are so overacted that they somehow make their already annoying characters even more so. The direction is not incompetent as such but it is very flat and could have been more playful if the execution of the rest of the movie was better. All in all, has two or three things that work a little but Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda is messy stupidity from start to finish. 2/10 Bethany Cox
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