ianlouisiana Review of Submerged

Submerged (2005 Video)

Vinnie Jones and that bird from the knicker factory in Corrie..

[5/10 · 17 October 2014]

...are doing exactly what in a Steven Seagal movie?Well,it's certainly not acting that's for sure - but that's nothing new.And I certainly hope they're not taking themselves seriously because there is only one actor in "Submerged" and that is the mighty Stevester himself. He appears to be suffering from the reverse of Michael Jackson syndrome and changing into a 20 - odd year old black gangsta instead of a 50 - odd year old white movie star whose best days are sadly some way behind him. But he's only got to grin - which he does rather a lot in this film - and I can still see the old Steve shining through the extra few pounds. Many of his later films certainly seem directed at the wannabe gangsta market certainly and he usually has some cool young black chap to back him up and enhance his street cred. Here his gang includes Mr Vinnie Jones,who,as a footballer was most famous for squeezing another footballer's testicles.Mr Jones now does TV adverts for CPR - well,it's a living,I guess.He is yet to appear as a pundit on "Sky"(that refuge for sad unemployables)but I wouldn't rule it out. "Submerged" is everything a Seagal movie should be - flashy,jerky and with a frankly indecipherable plot.And very,very funny. The director is like a kid with a new toy and everybody seems to be having a great time in Bulgaria - and why not,it's a lovely country. And I expect the Brits flew out by "Easyjet". Vinnie probably worked his passage by acting as a bouncer. I thoroughly enjoyed watching it,fully aware I was watching a complete nonsense but unable to turn it off. That is Big Steve's magic and his appeal to many of the less po - faced of us.