Coming off his best picture-winning Chariots of Fire, I have to imagine director Hugh Hudson thought to himself, "Hmm, how could I make Tarzan as boring as possible?" Whatever the answer to that question, Hudson succeeded with flying colors. This is about as boring as the story can get. 90% of it takes place in England and the 10% that takes place in the jungle is only marginally more interesting. Christopher Lambert plays Tarzan (never called that) and is silly. I mean, the story's always going to be silly, but Hudson wants this to be played seriously, and he failed by casting Lambert. Sir Ralph Richardson died shortly after production wrapped and scored a posthumous Oscar nom for his role, but I barely remember him in the film. Ian Holm is a little more memorable as the Frenchman who discovers Tarzan on his jungle exposition. Andie MacDowell, playing Jane in her film debut, was apparently so awful they had to hire Glenn Close to dub her voice. The ape costumes aren't bad considering. I would have been much better off throwing in the first two Weismuller Tarzans, which combined would have run about the same length.
