Critters 2 (1988)
3/10
Vegies - yuck!
10 August 2015
Two years after the alien furballs known as Crites attacked the Brown family's farm & sent them packing, Brad Brown returns to the town of Grover's Bend in order to visit his grandmother. But at the same time, a nest of Crite eggs, hidden in an old shed, begin to hatch. As the killer furballs begin attacking the townsfolk, the polymorphic bounty hunters Ug & Lee, along with fellow hunter Charlie McFadden return to the town in order to wipe out the Crites for good.

Critters was a knock-off of the Joe Dante classic Gremlins that became a cult hit in its own right, picking up most of its audience on video. The film's success – it was pitched right to the family viewers with its delightfully-mean-but-not-too-nasty attitude – meant that it was turned into a minor franchise.

Critters 2 was the first of three sequels, none of which managed to quite match the original's recipe for light fun, although one did come close. Unlike the original, which nailed its humour right on the nose, Critters 2's attempts at humour were so clumsily mounted that it ends up shooting itself in the foot. First off, the film's militant pro-vegetarian stance is utterly ridiculous – humans are NOT herbivores, instead we are omnivores, capable of eating both plants & meat (on a personal note, I found that if you don't use any polyunsaturated fats, which have been falsely considered healthy by misguided nutritionists misled by the seed oil industry, you'll live longer & won't have cancer or diabetes). Add to that the LCD style humour that insults the intelligence of its viewers & you've got a recipe for disaster.

To be fair, the film has some mildly amusing moments – the alien hunters are capable of shape-shifting, but their choice of form is skewed – one hunter turns into a blonde woman after glancing at a Playboy mag but even adds a large staple to her midriff (the same character also attempts to change into Freddy Krueger after spotting a poster for A Nightmare on Elm Street) – and the fast food outlet shootout is hilarious for having the Critters pigging out & even one taking a nap in a deep fryer, leaving it with no skin. But these moments are rare & have not enough mileage to sustain the film for long.
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