Film is no stranger to having a multitude of adaptations based on popular literature and Pinocchio is no exception. So lets begin by understanding that Pinocchio is played by an obnoxious 50 year old man and has the inability to shut his mouth for even one second. Ones hopes for a "so bad its good" experience is quickly slapped across the face after the first 5 minutes once you realize that this "character" is going to be stuck with us for next 2 odd hours or so. In all seriousness however, this film is an endurance round. No movie I have ever seen has made me want to burn down an orphanage and perform a lobotomy on my own self so that neither myself or the orphans will ever have to suffer through the atrocity I have just witnessed. Its films like these that back up the argument made by idiots who have never seen a film before that film is not art and just another medium for humanity to blindly indulge in.
Now lets actually talk about what is in the movie shall we? Once again this film casts a 50 year old man as Pinocchio. This is also the most energetic man in existence as he leaps on tables and runs around shouting about every bloody thing he sees. The film proceeds to have Pinocchio run around doing what all middle aged puppets do: causing mischief. Then the movie just seems to go on and on. One moments he is running around like man who has escaped from the mental ward, to becoming somebody's literal guard dog and saying bow wow (I am not even fricking joking), all the way to turning into disturbing looking donkey furry with ears longer than Mark Wahlberg's schlong in Boogie Nights. He eventually turns into a "boy", even though you would have nails in your eyes not to see that he is clearly a 50 year old man on cocaine. We then get to see a glorious shot of his puppet self sitting on a chair that looks more baked than a potato as Pinocchio and his chubby father gaze at it, which was the only funny part of the whole movie. When the movie FINALLY ended I was left wondering if I should jump off the balcony of my house or hang myself from it. But instead I grabbed it and put it in my film collection and realized I had tainted my film collection for eternity and that 2 hours of my life have literally been stolen from me...
Overall this movie is awful as you may have already guessed, but the only reason I have not given a 1/10 is the decent art direction and decent cinematography (neither of which should ever save a movie). This movie has left me realizing how good I had it with the 'Twilight' "films" and The Green Lantern. So do yourself a favor and watch a better 2 hour film like Seven or something.
Now lets actually talk about what is in the movie shall we? Once again this film casts a 50 year old man as Pinocchio. This is also the most energetic man in existence as he leaps on tables and runs around shouting about every bloody thing he sees. The film proceeds to have Pinocchio run around doing what all middle aged puppets do: causing mischief. Then the movie just seems to go on and on. One moments he is running around like man who has escaped from the mental ward, to becoming somebody's literal guard dog and saying bow wow (I am not even fricking joking), all the way to turning into disturbing looking donkey furry with ears longer than Mark Wahlberg's schlong in Boogie Nights. He eventually turns into a "boy", even though you would have nails in your eyes not to see that he is clearly a 50 year old man on cocaine. We then get to see a glorious shot of his puppet self sitting on a chair that looks more baked than a potato as Pinocchio and his chubby father gaze at it, which was the only funny part of the whole movie. When the movie FINALLY ended I was left wondering if I should jump off the balcony of my house or hang myself from it. But instead I grabbed it and put it in my film collection and realized I had tainted my film collection for eternity and that 2 hours of my life have literally been stolen from me...
Overall this movie is awful as you may have already guessed, but the only reason I have not given a 1/10 is the decent art direction and decent cinematography (neither of which should ever save a movie). This movie has left me realizing how good I had it with the 'Twilight' "films" and The Green Lantern. So do yourself a favor and watch a better 2 hour film like Seven or something.