Review of Razorback

Razorback (1984)
6/10
Pretty tiresome, with a monster you never see and never fear
9 April 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Billed as "Jaws" in the outback, "Razorback" is more like a toothless cross between "Wake in Fright" and "Mad Max". The killer pig is barely seen throughout the run time and you are never encouraged to be scared of it.

More menacing (though not by much) are a group of post-apocalyptic looking kangaroo shooters who intend to rape a young American newsreader doing a report on animal cruelty. Of course she doesn't really get raped - this is only a horror movie, after all - the pig conveniently arrives to kill her instead (which we don't see happen).

Then her spouse shows up and we get not one but two nightmare sequences which do less to establish the pig as the thing we are supposed to be afraid of than the hunters. They are not believable characters, though, and they're more irritating than intimidating.

Anyway, the movie disposes of both so easily that you wonder why you were ever supposed to care. You never really get to see the "razorback", and its death scene is singularly unconvincing and underwhelming.

In actual fact, the pig deserves some kind of medal for humanity - a Porcine Peace Prize, if you will - for always arriving to perform acts of mercy. For example, when the young lady is going to be raped, she is spared that fate and is merely killed (rape is worse than murder, right?) Later when her spouse is going to take revenge, he hesitates before pulling the trigger, and what do you know? There's the pig again, taking the crisis out of the Canuck's hands and killing the would-be rapist for him.
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