Things I would rather do than watch this movie ever again:
1.) Smash my head on a boulder. 2.) Lick a gas station toilet seat.
3.) Be attacked by a zombie. 4.) Send my paycheck to a Nigerian "prince" I met online. 5.) Make out with a chicken's butthole. 6.) Give myself a non-medicated root canal. 7.) Face off with a T-rex. 8.) Bathe with buffalo diarrhea. 9.) Swim in an active volcano. 10.) Eat aforementioned buffalo diarrhea.
It's long. It's horrible. Just. Don't. Gosh dang it, I have to add more stuff because I have to add at least 10 lines of text. Hmmm.... TWO AND A HALF FREAKING HOURS WASTED! OH the things I could have accomplished. But no... It was wasted on this horrible, awful, insulting, narcissistic-filled piece of crap. J-Lo is a lesbian in the beginning, but of course, Ben Asshat "turns" her straight. GTFO here, Ben. Did they really have to go there? Really... I am going to leave it at that. This film has taken enough of my time, and by typing this review, I am just reliving the garbage memories.
1.) Smash my head on a boulder. 2.) Lick a gas station toilet seat.
3.) Be attacked by a zombie. 4.) Send my paycheck to a Nigerian "prince" I met online. 5.) Make out with a chicken's butthole. 6.) Give myself a non-medicated root canal. 7.) Face off with a T-rex. 8.) Bathe with buffalo diarrhea. 9.) Swim in an active volcano. 10.) Eat aforementioned buffalo diarrhea.
It's long. It's horrible. Just. Don't. Gosh dang it, I have to add more stuff because I have to add at least 10 lines of text. Hmmm.... TWO AND A HALF FREAKING HOURS WASTED! OH the things I could have accomplished. But no... It was wasted on this horrible, awful, insulting, narcissistic-filled piece of crap. J-Lo is a lesbian in the beginning, but of course, Ben Asshat "turns" her straight. GTFO here, Ben. Did they really have to go there? Really... I am going to leave it at that. This film has taken enough of my time, and by typing this review, I am just reliving the garbage memories.