8/10
Cheesy and delightful
19 August 2016
Warning: Spoilers
What a great film. What a great shame that it's so under-appreciated. Packed with some of the cheesiest monster effects this side of THE GIANT CLAW and lots of hilarious stilted acting and unbelievable dialogue, THE LOVES OF HERCULES is the peplum genre at its peak of unintentional hilarity. Fans of these bizarre Italian muscleman flicks will no doubt find this a hugely entertaining experience, even if the acting is poor and the dubbing is even worse. Seemingly every review I've seen comments on how "bad" this film is, but I've seen a heck of a lot worse. At least this is an action-packed experience, and one which is never boring.

Mickey Hargitay takes over the reigns from Steve Reeves as muscleman hero Hercules, his body packed with rippling muscles, his mind the size of a pea. Hargitay was of course Mansfield's husband which is probably the sole reason of him appearing in this film. As he is dubbed - by himself I think - it's difficult to assess his performance, but he does pull a lot of strange and amusing expressions along the way. Interestingly his character is given a strong Italian accent, whereas heroes of these peplum films typically have strong American accents - this difference makes things a little more genuine, don't you think? Jayne Mansfield is this film's biggest selling point. Her presence is so great that she has a dual role, that of a good queen and an evil queen. Mansfield isn't really required to act in the film, only scream occasionally and look as ravishing as possible at every moment. Also in the cast is the great Italian actor Massimo Serato playing the "baddie"; he's evil in the classic old-fashioned sense of the word (double-crossing friends, murdering off people all the time, being cruel, torturing and whipping those who oppose) yet still manages to be the gentleman at times (notice the way he protects Mansfield from a threat at the film's conclusion). The rest of the characters are either village idiots, simpering buffoons, or beautiful yet dumb women who amusingly scream "aaaah!" when they are killed. Oh, and the stuffy old courtiers who spend a lot of time talking but not actually doing much. The film is quite well made, and the low budget is disguised through some lovely crisp photography. One thing I particularly liked about this film was the score, which really helps to give it that historical, epic feel.

Hercules gets to show his might at various intervals during the film's course, from the expected picking up of incredibly heavy items (a cartwheel, a tree trunk, a rock) to fighting off nasty opponents in the form of a mountain ape man and a huge, fire-breathing dragon. The dragon fight scene is the film's centrepiece and, although the special effects aren't up to much, I found it very impressive. The dragon, supposedly the Hydra (although it's nothing like the Hydra of Greek mythology, for a start it has only three heads and doesn't grow them back after getting them cut off) is a gigantic puppet, okay it may not be very realistic but the sheer effort that they put into animating it is the impressive thing about it. For me, this is a sheer unmissable experience! The ape man turns up unexpectedly at the end, as a means to dispose of the villain (whom it strangles) and providing yet another cheap adversary for Hercules to battle. The ape man's appearance can be described in one word as "laughable", although I felt quite sorry for it. One minute its eyeing up a half-naked Mansfield, the next it gets crushed by a huge rock! There are plenty of other fantastic elements to keep this film interesting. One evil woman changes her appearance at will, helped by a black-cloaked witch who hangs around with her. She also kills all men in her kingdom after loving them, transferring their souls into trees where they remain trapped forever (in order to demonstrate this amazing fact, a minor characters breaks a branch on one of these trees and sure enough, blood spurts out!). This "trees of woe" scene is also pretty cool.

Lots of minor characters get killed off in this film, either getting stabbed or shot with arrows and stuff. A couple of people fall into a bubbling pit of acid for good measure at the end. There are a couple of big battles to enjoy, including an uprising for the film's finale, as well as mild torture (whipping seems to the preferred torture method for these guys). In all, it's pretty exciting. If you don't mind cheesy adventure flicks in the same tradition as JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS then this one is for you. See it to believe it!
7 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed