Bakterion (1982)
4/10
Extremely cheesy - and gruesome - Italian sci-fi/horror
6 October 2016
Warning: Spoilers
A cheesy, ineffectual monster-on-the-loose yarn from director Tonino Ricci, a man who can usually be relied upon to deliver the goods in a typically low-budget, untalented fashion. Although not as much a laugh riot as his later classics RUSH THE ASSASSIN and its super sequel RAGE, PANIC is nonetheless an interesting but failed attempt by the Italians to produce a British-set horror-cum-science fiction thriller. In some ways the film is similar to the Spanish LIVING DEAD AT THE MANCHESTER MORGUE - copious use of location filming in the UK adds to the impact and feel of the film but Ricci is not able to bring enough atmosphere to his settings as Grau did in his classic zombie film. To add to the similarities between the two films, Jose Lifante pops up again playing the fairly major part of an investigating policeman, Sergeant O'Brien, instantly recognisable with his pale visage and bulging eyeballs.

The film begins with a poorly-edited accident at a science lab, where something happens to somebody. It's hard to tell what, because the editing at this point is atrocious, a flaw that is occasionally repeated throughout the movie. Later it turns out that a scientist has been exposed to a germ which turns him into an ugly mutant with a thirst for human blood. PANIC enters predictable B-movie territory as the monster stalks and slashes a variety of naked Italian females, who spend their time either making out in their cars or showering at unfortunate times. A pleasing amount of shoddy gore effects are splashed about, adding to the minimal enjoyment that the film offers. Lots of padding is taken up with scenes of government investigator David Warbeck (playing, get this, a character named Kirk Dude!) and his superiors searching uselessly for the deformed scientist, whilst some poor effects and a smoke machine behind an aeroplane try to convince us that the authorities are ready to drop a bomb on the town at any moment.

Things culminate in a not-bad attack by the mutant on a cinema full of patrons watching an exceptionally bizarre film, which seems to involve a man riding back and forth on his motorbike whilst comedy music plays! Sadly Ricci ruins things by filming the actual attack in the pitch black, so all we hear are the noises. His money-making ploy doesn't pull off. The finale of the film involves the creature being cornered in the sewers whilst Warbeck and the police force close in, and there's a cheesy action finale in which Warbeck lets loose with a gas-gun. One highlight that the climax holds is the surprisingly excellent special effects used for the monster, basically a gruesome prosthetic pulsing mask which looks really nasty - kudos for the effects guys on their obviously limited budget.

Entertainment spots to watch out for include the various monster attacks, plagued by overacting from the monster and its victims, and the gratuitous nudity thrown in at every opportunity. One hilarious highlight sees the police investigating growling coming from behind a bush, only to release it's only a drunk - doesn't explain why he's growling though! There's also an ultra-cheesy effects shot of a giant guinea pig living in a sewer, although the effects here are so poor that it took me a few minutes to figure out what I was supposed to be looking at. The small, B-movie cast is headed by action hero David Warbeck, in what I believe to be his first outing in an Italian horror film, and as usual he's the best thing in the film, putting in a solid performance. Janet Agren is ineffectual and has bad hair as the heroine, who inexplicably cares for the monster even whilst he's killing people, and lower down in the cast is Franco Ressel as a victim who has his legs torn off. Not one of Ricci's best movies, but a cheesy delight for bad movie lovers and a bit of a bore for everyone else.
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