Review of Killers

Killers (1997)
1/10
This movie almost killed my joy of watching movies...
25 October 2016
A friend of mine gave this piece of shet, which he got for free at the recycle center, and after reading the description of the cover "In the tradition of Reservoir Dogs" (whatever the hell that was supposed to mean) we decided to watch it... man, was that a big mistake!

The plot is basically as follow: Some long-haired biker-types and their bimbo girlfriends go to an abandoned warehouse to meet with their pal, fittingly called "Speed" (which also seems like his drug of choice), and they split some drugs and money there - they're all criminals, no doubt. But suddenly a bunch of suit-clad gangsters appear, also wanting the drugs and the money, so the gang decides to flee... or rather, they stay in the building and hide, until the gangsters are closing in on them...and THEN (try to) flee! And they also decide to split up a couple of times (which makes it easier for the bad guys to catch/kill them one at the time). Aaand... that's basically the plot right there.

I've seen some pretty damn worthless movies, but most of them have either been free online stuff and/or amateur school-productions. But this movie is truly scraping the bottom of the barrel. Stupid plot, terrible acting, horrible lighting (if any at all), inept direction and super-dull filming. Throw some shet-poor editing and generic background muzak on top of that, and you've got this film.

It reminded me of other terrible films, like Albert Pyun's "Urban Menace" or Karim Hussain's "Ascension", but it's actually much, much worse, because those movies had some redeeming features, like unintentional comedy (the former) or artistic vision (the latter). This movie has NO REDEEMING FEATURES WHATSOEVER. Unless you like watching a bunch of scruffy-looking dudes running around filthy buildings for 90 minutes, of course.

The one thing that puzzles me the most about this movie, is that they actually went and made a SEQUEL to it! WTF, that's gotta be the least called-for sequel of all-time! It's going straight back to the recycle center, I can tell you that much... or maybe even the city dump would be a better ending for it, as I don't want to put anyone else through the torture of sitting through this truly passion-less turkey.

1/10.
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