So,no surprises here,we are watching Snow White,right?Well,guess again!!
King Nobody falls in love with a blonde woman who kills him on their wedding bed right on the next scene.She turns out to be Snow white's bad mother in law who is also a witch!!It appears she created a black iron glass army in order to trick herself in the kingdom.After she kills the king,walks like nothing has happened through the entire castle,opens the gate and lets another army inside to kill everyone,without being noticed by absolutely no one.How convenient!
She also has a brother who looks like a product of inbreeding.She keeps consuming young girls in order to stay young and only when she starts getting affected by her overuse of magic does the mirror tell her that all that is happening because snow white turned 18.
After that we have some run and chase moments and the introduction of a now wifeless drunken huntsman.From then on things do get a little better,we have some excellent visual effects and you actually start remembering that this is a fairy tale....But it does not last long.The dark forest is scary only because of some dark gas coming from mushroom like plants,so people basically get high and hallucinate.Trolls come out of nowhere only to disappear after they get tamed by a very indifferent snow white....Then the eye candy carnival begins...Butterfly flowers,animals,plants and trees all going a bit Tolkien-like,fairies and a huge male deer that blows up into hundreds of butterflies.
Of course we also have dwarfs but who cares with all that visual overload?Prince William disappears from the beginning of the movie only to appear again later,trying to save his old love.But in the way his character is displayed it's like he never came back.
Snow white eats the poisoned apple and dies.Prince William gives her a kiss but nothing happens.After they manage to get her to duke's castle and after a cringy monologue by the again drunken huntsman,he kisses her too.She wakes up after a while,with him being absent from the scene so we really have to love story here.Then,all of a sudden,Snow white gets all fired up and after a very long,awkward and cringy uninspiring speech,becomes a sweet little warlord and gets people killed just because the film has to move on somehow.
The visual effects is all that matters here in eye-candy kingdom!Acting,even by Theron is disappointing,battle scenes straight out of Xena and character development and dialogue are both lacking and tiring.What you get here is a very generic movie with nothing more to offer to the viewer than just a way to kill a couple of hours if you have nothing else to do.
This is what happens when Hollywood,which is all out of original ideas,tries to milk some old projects,aiming on the nostalgia of adults from their childhood's favorite stories and cartoons,but fails miserably.And it fails because apparently they do not understand the rules.You don't take one of the most popular fairy tales and turn it into a mindless battle movie with ridiculous lines and shallow characters,stripping all the beauty from it....or you do,trying to make more money and everyone hates you for it.WELL DONE!
King Nobody falls in love with a blonde woman who kills him on their wedding bed right on the next scene.She turns out to be Snow white's bad mother in law who is also a witch!!It appears she created a black iron glass army in order to trick herself in the kingdom.After she kills the king,walks like nothing has happened through the entire castle,opens the gate and lets another army inside to kill everyone,without being noticed by absolutely no one.How convenient!
She also has a brother who looks like a product of inbreeding.She keeps consuming young girls in order to stay young and only when she starts getting affected by her overuse of magic does the mirror tell her that all that is happening because snow white turned 18.
After that we have some run and chase moments and the introduction of a now wifeless drunken huntsman.From then on things do get a little better,we have some excellent visual effects and you actually start remembering that this is a fairy tale....But it does not last long.The dark forest is scary only because of some dark gas coming from mushroom like plants,so people basically get high and hallucinate.Trolls come out of nowhere only to disappear after they get tamed by a very indifferent snow white....Then the eye candy carnival begins...Butterfly flowers,animals,plants and trees all going a bit Tolkien-like,fairies and a huge male deer that blows up into hundreds of butterflies.
Of course we also have dwarfs but who cares with all that visual overload?Prince William disappears from the beginning of the movie only to appear again later,trying to save his old love.But in the way his character is displayed it's like he never came back.
Snow white eats the poisoned apple and dies.Prince William gives her a kiss but nothing happens.After they manage to get her to duke's castle and after a cringy monologue by the again drunken huntsman,he kisses her too.She wakes up after a while,with him being absent from the scene so we really have to love story here.Then,all of a sudden,Snow white gets all fired up and after a very long,awkward and cringy uninspiring speech,becomes a sweet little warlord and gets people killed just because the film has to move on somehow.
The visual effects is all that matters here in eye-candy kingdom!Acting,even by Theron is disappointing,battle scenes straight out of Xena and character development and dialogue are both lacking and tiring.What you get here is a very generic movie with nothing more to offer to the viewer than just a way to kill a couple of hours if you have nothing else to do.
This is what happens when Hollywood,which is all out of original ideas,tries to milk some old projects,aiming on the nostalgia of adults from their childhood's favorite stories and cartoons,but fails miserably.And it fails because apparently they do not understand the rules.You don't take one of the most popular fairy tales and turn it into a mindless battle movie with ridiculous lines and shallow characters,stripping all the beauty from it....or you do,trying to make more money and everyone hates you for it.WELL DONE!