Joshua Tree (1993)
2/10
Soulless
5 December 2016
Dolph Lundgren - the character has a name, but it's Dolph Lundgren - a car smuggler, gets framed for murder, but escapes while being escorted to face judgement. The rest of the movie is pretty much him fleeing from place to place and in the process taking a woman hostage. A woman who just happens to be a police officer.

And there's nothing in this film that captured my attention even for a minute. I mean, Kristian Alfonso is hot in a Sarah Connor tough survival chick kind of way, but that just isn't enough. Lundgren isn't acting hammy enough to make it interesting, the rest of the characters are blander than gruel, the action scenes have nothing going for them and the plot is so contrived and/or clichéd that I've already forgotten it entirely.

Not helping the matters is the fact that I apparently saw the censored version. And yeah, having more splatter might have made this film better. In fact I'm certain it would have. But not enough to make it even remotely good.

The only reason to see this film is to watch Dolph Lundgren's face and in your mind replace all his lines to: "I must break you." Plus Alfonso is hot. That is all.
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