Review of 5 to 7

5 to 7 (2014)
6/10
Flat and weirdly pointless
14 June 2017
You expect a romance movie to have something to say about romance, the idea of romance or love. And while this movie has a lot of cheesy dialogue that would point in that direction, it ultimately has nothing to say. And when a romance movie has nothing to say about romance, you would typically expect to see a kind of chemistry that draws you in. And while the female lead attempts to portray this pretty well, the male lead appears to have no idea that his character is in a romance, let alone is in love. And when a movie like this has nothing to say about romance, and has precious little chemistry between the leads, you would at least expect it to have a smart script. Alas, the dialogue leads from one laughably clichéd line to another. The weirdly pointless bench taglines portrayed as "the best writing in NYC" should give us a clue about where the script is going and how the narrative will play out.

Not to say this movie isn't worthwhile in other ways. The character of Jane, the editor, may be the only 3-dimensional one here, and she completely takes over many of the scenes -- of the precious few she's in. Her absence is sorely noticeable when she's not there. The male lead's parents, while not quite as fleshed out as we'd like, are nevertheless extremely enjoyable. The story itself is nothing special -- it plays out as melodrama (stock characters in a situation that forces them to act in stock ways) which isn't necessarily bad if it's well done, but it just isn't.

Something else to mention about the story: The universe in which this story exists is one that rewards and ultimately revolves around complete sincerity. This is intensely aggravating, not just because it makes the whole thing unrealistic, but also as it implies that the people here have no interior lives. That the only thing that matters is what they have chosen to do in a completely sincere manner. That is, the important thing is not who they are, but what they do. For a purportedly delicate character study, this is a weird narrative choice.

There is one piece of irony that is probably not intentional, but which completely destroys any integrity this movie may have had at one point, and the following isn't a spoiler. The line "What would you do for love?" is intended to apply only to the woman and her life decisions, but it ultimately applies to the man as well. Because his own implicit answer to this question is what leads this movie to go into the depths of self-indulgent pretension. All of which could be forgiven if any of the other faults mentioned above were also addressed.
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