4/10
Dead malls -- circa the 1990s.
7 October 2017
Warning: Spoilers
N the eve of the opening of a new mall, a shadowy man steals a crossbow and kills a security guard. It's hushed up, as so many people are losing their minds that such an amazing mall is open in their town. It's probably only the eight mall in Sharman Oaks )the movie was actually shot at the Sherman Oaks Galleria, Westfield Promenade and Valencia Studios), so this is big news.

Melody Austin (Kari Kennell Whitman, Playboy Playmate of the Month February, 1988) and Suzie (The Adventures of Ford Fairlaine and the girl at the craps table in Empire Records) are excited to get good jobs there. That's when we learn that the killer is Eric (oh yeah, his name is in the subtitle, as if we're supposed to know who Eric and why he wants revenge), Suzie's supposedly dead boyfriend, who was lost in the fire that paved the way for the mall. Yep, his family wouldn't sell and damn progress, now everyone is dead and Suzie has moved on, literally working for minimum wage on the ashes of the man she once had sex with in a room that oddly enough has a fireplace. I've been in plenty of houses - I'm not bragging, just stating fact - and I have never seen a teenager have a fireplace in their room before. Maybe it's trust issues. Perhaps it's just ridiculous.

To hide his face, Eric slices a mannequin head in half to form the traditional Phantom mask. Anyone that screws with Suzie dies, while he continues to leave her gifts - her favorite flowers, which triggers the above mentioned fireplace fornication flashback; playing her favorite song; even killing Justin (Tom Fridley, Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI), the owner of the mall's annoying son when he tries to come on too strong to Melody.

Oh that owner of the mall? He's played by Jonathan Goldsmith, the original Most Interesting Man in the World. Yes, even hyperbolic ad pitchmen had to pay the bills at some point. He's aided and abetted by Morgan Fairchild, who plays Mayor Karen Wilton. Did you know that in the swinging 70s Morgan was held against her will on two separate occasions? Here she acts like she doesn't know what's going on until late in the picture - turns out she's behind it all and pays the price by being lofting off the third level of the mall and impaled. It's a wonderful death, as Frank Miller Batman would mutter under his breath.
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